Thursday, December 31, 2009

An exciting beginning!!

Wishing all my friends and love ones a very happy and prosperous New Year!!

The Sangai Express New Year message to the people is one of the most meaningful and important wish for all the Manipuris. Kudos to Satya Hijam. We desperately pray for a year ahead free from killing. It does not matter whether they are civilians, Police or millitants. At the end of the war we should remember that whoever killed is a human and the war is between humans which led to the lost of a valuable life. Which creates a hole in a family; which produced traumatized family, their hurt can never be healed for this lifetime.

Last night party with only two of my closest friend was one of the best parties I ever had in life. It was a good beginning of the year with typical style of celebrating New Year. Of course, No controversy in the year end party!! I don't want to listen to back stabbing comments afterwards. A small fire work in the terrace accompanied with wine and finger licking Butter chicken, prepared by my friend. Only thing we were missing in the party was our friend and sweetheart Shreema. I wish she was here with us in Delhi and our party would have been of more fun.
Early morning SMS

When I was getting ready for office, a new year wish from a friend made me laugh so loudly recieve one of the most funniest (but true) wish from a friend.

It reads as
 “Wishing you a very warm anger free and fight free 2010...May the new year brings you lots of smiles...”
Yeah! I really need a peaceful year ahead with lots of laughter and smile. Thanks for the true wish. I'm praying for anger free and fight free year ahead. I think I did enough of all these stuffs in 2009...!!
Thanks for bringing a big smile on my lips before I start my day. May the unseen divine shower your life with thousand reasons to keep you smile throughout the year!!

Memories of 2009!!

The year 2009 is an eventful year for me though I faced many trouble in my personal life. Year begins with good note and it brings lots of good people in my life. Among them my best friend Priya is one of them. We met only once in a meeting held in Vasant Vihar 2 years from now and almost forgotten of each others existence but we met again because God seems to know that we three are lost bird in the boundless sky which needs to be bring together in one place.

Though I was living for years in Delhi there was hardly few friends who can accept me as the person I'm. I was tried of searching for those friends who can accept the real me. That's how I found my friends Shreema and Priya. They are not classmates, batch mate or don't belong to the same place. We are just destined to meet someday. I think my life become so complete because of my two friends. There was hardly a day we have not talked to each other and sometime our male friends would joke to us that our boyfriends must be very insecure of our friendship.

Evening walk with Shreema and Lanleima in the DU garden was the most important task for us in the last three years. Whether it is raining or extremely hot, we don't care. We still have to find time in the evening and go for the walk. Of course, our talk and discussion was more important than walk. Today, Shreema and me are able to take part an active role in any social occasions because of our random and directionless discussion in the DU garden. We have ideas which are unacceptable to the people around and to the society but somewhat we are able to make a platform for our unacceptable thoughts today. Shreema left for her lectureship job in Manipur and it seems that I'm almost deserted and there will be no one to discuss our wild ideas but fortunately Priya came on our way and here we, three musketeers are enjoying our God given friendship. I pray that this coming year will nourish our friendship with more love and care for each other.

Other than my two friends I have also found an elder brother & a best buddy whose name I do not want to write for many reasons but I'm thankful to God for sending him on my way. I'm so thankful to him for understanding me so well and for taking care of me all the time. I'm also sorry for being so childish at time and making him so irritated. Sorry for waking you up in the late night and crying and complaining over the phone for all those things which meant nothing to my life. You truly said I'm still a kid who hasn’t seen the world enough. Thanks for guiding & protecting me all the time.

The most beautiful gift of this year is my nephew. Though I got only few days to stay with my nephew, it was an incredible moment for me and I'm dying to meet him again to see his head banging dance in the tune of the mobile ring tones.

Needless to say I also had to go through many troubles and had to spend sleepless night due to personal problems and lost of a good friend. Yes, I have to agree one thing in life that only thing which is constant is life is the change. With time everything changes, even the person and the relations. That's how some relation just become meaningless and non-existent. I have also learnt to accept the change to move ahead in life. He was everything for me for some years and today I don't even want to count him as a stranger in my life. The courtesy he has given to me was good enough to forget and dump all those memories I had about him. As I'm not among those who hold in the past and pull myself down to waste the beautiful moments I may have in future.
With the end of the year it took away an important person in my life. My grandmother suddenly demised due to cancer and she hardly lived one month after spending few days in hospital. I could not do anything for her and not even got time to attend all the rituals. But I'm thankful to God for giving me few days to meet her before she took her last breath.

I’m thanking to the unseen divine for all things he has given to me and I’m just praying to God that the coming year bring all the happiness to my love ones. My wish for this year will be to begin a new life with full of meaningful work and commitments....!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Finally Justice arrived!!!

Dhaula Kuan gang-rape convict gets 14 years’ rigorous imprisonment

“The scar of rape always remains engraved in her mind and she cannot overcome it throughout her life. It cannot also be forgotten that women are generally weak and commission of rape on a meek victim is the gravest of offence,” said the court in its four-page order on sentence.

........It was in the year 2006; the Dhaula Kuan gang-rape case shocked all the north east people residing in Delhi especially the girls. My group (Linda, Lanleima, Ameeta, Lemis) were like right hand for MSAD though we don't occupied any post in the organisations political platform. We all were in the final year of Msc and Lanlei was pursuing her L.L.B that time.

We were filled with anguish & sorrow  for being so unkind especially towards the NE girls in Delhi. Even though we are staying here from the last 9 years, we have no niche. We are just known by one word, that's Chinkee. I never ponder to know its meaning because I have started to set up my mind as I'm living with different species which can only harm me so I just have to be protective for my own body & soul, from attcking by them. I'm not being racist here but it is the true fact. I wonder if there is any girl left who are not molested or abused on their short span of staying in Delhi to earn a livelihood.

My huge regard and respect to Da Noni, one of the senior in the MSAD. He was the one who gave us the space to deliver our idea and let us face the truth of the people, police, Media After the rape case rocked the Delhi all the media house were busy covering news of the girls from NE wearing short and skimpy cloths. We were almost burnt inside. It is like throwing and rubbing salt to the wound. Finally, we had a meeting with the some of the MSAD guys and Da Noni was heading our girl's team. We had planned to bang the media house, Police and all those people having cheap mentality with a full fledge protest rally in front of the ITO, Police station.

We all bunk practical classes and went for mobilization reaching to each and every doorsteps of the NE people residing in Delhi. We distributed pamplets on the roadside to join the protest. And also invited few NGO's to support us.

Then, the big day came; we board the infamous blue line bus and dropped at ITO police station. That was the first experience we had of being kept in the Police Station and later on they released us after taking our signatures. Don't know what they are going to do with our signatures but we were never worried for that but got relief eternally. Thought we did something to get the Justice. Media house had no option but they have to cover the protest as we also accused them for being biased and web casting the news which tarnishes the image of the NE girls in Delhi.

Fortunately, some guys in ZEE TV approached to us to appear and speak about our bitter experience of residing in Delhi. We were given only 20 minutes to speak but we are thankful to them at least they have managed to break the perception of the North Indians towards us.

Thanks to our parents for being so supportive, though they were so shocked with our excited news of being caught by the Delhi Police and kept in the police station for sometime. Instead of shouting at us, they advice us to stay alert and waited for the news web casting to see us. They would told us what should not speak next time but they are proud of our group being so courageous to stand for such cause.

Most interesting part of the the news clip was showing the girls from the other states roaming around the Delhi University and wearing the so called short, skimpy & provocative cloths while delivering our talk in the back ground.

I'm still surprised of psyche of the some men folk, taking so much of interest in the dress a woman which are using to cover her own body, of course not for him. It's neither their business nor they are earning any profit out of this.

My question still goes to the MEN?? What they meant by provocative dress? What is provoking them? Isn't it the problem of MEN psychology?? My suggestion is better to consult a doctor than blaming the woman.

Did anyone heard of a woman raping man coming out on the road with half pant?? Till now I have not heard of it. I think even if a man comes out in their minimal cloth, no woman to even think to touch them. May be they will run away from them for being so offensive by seeing not so attractive male figures.

......coming back to the news....yesterday I went to meet Lanleima after the office and was just going through the Hindu newspaper. Show the news of executing the rapist with rigorous life imprisonment by the High Court. We were like "WOW". It feels so good. I said Lanlei, do you remember this is the Mizoram girl case and we had organized the rally in ITO 3 years back from now. I called up Linda and shared the news. It was moment of glory for us though we don't know the girl personally; we were deeply shattered by the incident.

...Seems like this news flash back our unforgettable moments of life filled with zeal in the college time. MSAD rally and MSAD thabal chongba (known as the Moon Dance) were part of our life only. We hit the thabal from the beginning till the end and no one was there to challenge us :)

Of course, guys hate us like anything for our attitude and for kicking them out from joining us during the Thabal Chongba. We were infamous group among the people for our Tapta song dance, chekla dance and Maibi Jagoi dance in the Thabal chongba. So, we make sure that our brothers and especially my Mamma was there to look for us and protect us. But Mamma always closed his eyes and ears while we were dancing because he has no courage to see our crazy dance, somewhat mad, attitudes or bear the comments from the guys in the Thabal Lampak. It was my rule that I stay away from meeting Mamma for at least 1-2 weeks so that I don't have to listen to his lectures after the Thabal. He would shout on the phone next day "nupi nattagumna aduk yamna ngoushinaridubu, I will inform your father".

But he never missed to take us for next Thabal Chongba :)

Monday, December 7, 2009

Season of Love!!

Autumn witnesses the moment you left me
Yellow leaves fall upon symbolizing sadness
Color of March dye your last footprint
On the invisible canvas of my memory
It was when the season of love ends

Spring too paid a visit after you are gone
With her green petals refreshing your memory
And left me in a melancholic solitude
It was when the season of love ends

Winter came with its warm caressing touch
Though it brings only your lost smile
Whose touch to my heart i ignored
It was when the season of love ends

Summer came and gone too
Only to rage me in the fire of an awaken hurt
That’s how the season of life come and goes
Without you and your love
Though memory of you still burning alive
Within the walls of the dark night
It was when the season of love ends

The moon in the sky of the august
Wake me up before the night falls
Witnessing your existence within me
Though I cry upon this emptiness
It was when the season of love ends!!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

A woman!!

An eye of hope and dream,
That’s what you have shown to me,
A seed of change
That’s what you have ever
Sown to me,
Change in the meaning of freedom,
Change in the meaning of equality,
Change in the meaning of humanity,
That’s what you have taught me ever!
We were walking alone in a road
Filled with the thorns and stones,
Fighting for our own space in a society,
Where your mother is your enemy,
Your father is your enemy,
Your brother is your enemy,
Your sister is your enemy
Your own existence become your enemy
At the end of the day,
You are known as a woman only!

You are a daughter to your father,
You are a sister your brothers,
You are a wife to your husband,
You are a loving and caring mother
To your children,
You are the one
Who would die and sacrifice for them,
But at the end of the day,
You are just a woman,
No one will ever remember
Your heart also beats with a rhythm,
Your lungs also breathe with the free oxygen,
Just like other human!

You are just a turtle,
Who walks in silence and fear,
And hides her head and toes,
Beneath her back,
Just to survive and just free from
The obligations of your own existence!

You are an idealistic creation of God,
Who never wrote her own definition,
Who never lives her life,
Who never heard her own heartbeat,
She lives with a definition
adorn by the society and the men,
You heart can beat
only with the rhythm of your man,
In a society of patriarchs
You have many names
You are merely a beast,
You are merely a prostitute,
You are merely a call girl,
You are merely a widow,
You are merely an omen
And to the men living around you,
Because at the end of the day
You are just remembered as a woman,
Not a human!

It’s not the time to sought for equality,
It’s not the time to scream for woman’s right,
It’s not the time to fight for the special reservation,
Shall we not feel ashamed for what we are?
Let’s represent ourselves as a human first,
Let’s break from the chains of the morality,
Let’s free ourselves from being a cultural ambassador,
Let’s be a human first,
Then the rest will come along!!

What is meaning of a society?
What is meaning of culture?
What is the meaning of religion,
If you are not known as a human!!

Don’t only dream of
Being a better half of a man,
Let them also dream of being a better half of you,
Why not man also enjoy
Being your better half??

Let them also know that
They are remain of our impure and untouchable blood,
From there lives springs,
From there,
Sown their soul!

It is not the not war of sex anymore,
You must fight for now,
It is the war of your existence,
Which you must win!

Friday, November 13, 2009

I search for you!!

It’s in the morning dew
I search for you,
It’s in the teardrops hiding in my eyes
I search for you,
It’s in the fallen leaves of the autumn
I search for you,
It’s in the unsung songs of my heart
I search for you,
It’s in the reminiscences of my memory
I still search for you,
It’s amidst the crowd of unknown,
I again search for you
I search for you,
I search for you,
Just to find myself
I search for you
I search for you
to find the remain in me without you!!

Perfume really scared me!!

Watching movie in the late night with a big cup of tea or coffee always give a different taste. Since the whole world was in sleep, you can enjoy such rare moments of silence and that’s an opportunity for me to watch movie of my favorite. One of my friends smsed about the movie some days back saying that the movie was just awesome and the theme was different from all. But I never thought that I will have a nightmare after watching the movie and will have to face with constant fear of bad dreams.

Perfume-A story of a murderer. When the movie was starting I was too much absorbed and thoroughly enjoyed it as the theme was truly different and it is a thriller. Film’s main protagonist is a boy born with his God-given extraordinary sense of smelling and knowing each and every thing on the earth from the smell. I was feeling pity for the ill-faith life of the boy who was abandoned by his mother just after he was born but was delighted for his extraordinary power of noticing the things with smell. I was telling Lin, God has always given something special to the one who had no one for him on this earth. Wow! What a magic philosophy!!

Lin and I were so excited when the guy was learning to prepare perfume in the lab for the first time. His lab looks like our suffocated,fumed and dull Chemistry lab of Delhi University with bottles of chemicals lined up in the racks of the wall. When the owner of the perfume shop taught him how to extract essential oils from the flowers and showing the distillation part from the hot distillation pot, we begun our discussion about the solvent he should used for better distillation output and the reactant to fasten the process, as both of us are from chemistry background. We were lost somewhere while our discussion directed into distillation process. Both of us were quite happy when we even solved the problem of how to extract the essentail oils from the animal body, when the guy was seen boiling the lovely cat of the owner in the pot of the hot water. We were telling to each other, oh! he could have done with alcohol or wax?? It seems like we are also in the same lab with the guy in the movie and somewhat helping him to choose the appropriate solvent for extraction. After he learnt the process of perfume preparation in his lab, our enthusiasm turns into something else. Our concentration is now on the psychology of the guy. Poor guy with extraordinary sense of smelling scared us the whole night. His stunt facial expression of not able to express any emotions of humans such as love, affection, care, hatred etc made us more uncomfortable and scary.

The movie show the psychology of a guy who have never seen and interacted with a woman! A guy who never feel the human emotions! A guy who have never smell a woman! A guy who had no smell for his own body though he knows the smell of each and every living and non-living objects on the earth! With heavy head we were deeply absorbed in the movie till the late night. Now we seem be regretted of helping him in choosing the solvent for distillation. We were just praying inside that hey don’t kill her, please, she is so beautiful and innocent, and worried enough we said to ourselves when the movie saw his hunting work for the girls to prepare a perfume with an anticipated smell of a woman, he had killed by mistake. He never realized till the end of the movie, the reason for following the girls and why can’t he still not able to forget her. But when he realized the reason for not able to forget her, he kills self. His emotionally impotent life, pity enough to realize at the last moment, human emotions is something lacking in his life without which human can’t live, that’s something God had deprived from him.

With a sad note the movie come to an end, after the man kill himself using the perfume, to the same place where he was born with a self realization of the fact that he can achieve anything he wishes to in this world but he can never feel the human emotions, he can never love anyone though the whole world may be there to bow their head in front of him.

It is that Perfume which he had prepared from the waxed oils of the women’s body killed him without even leaving a piece of his flesh on the earth.

After a few minutes of deep sleep, I wake up due to bad dreams and fear of the psycho of the man. I was calling some of my friend and narrating the story of the movie so that I can cope up with the fear till the afternoon. Even now I had to keep the lights on and play some music continuously and go for sleep. Perfume really scared me!!

Monday, November 9, 2009


All I need as of now is to compose myself and stay away from this fear of feeling homesick. I have spent nine years in Delhi but I still feel homesick just like I leave home few hours back. I’m lost in own fantasies of going home every now and then. Sometime I wake suddenly in the night and start counting in the calendar. Next day my mood will be off after I recount all the incomplete things line up on my way. Spoke to Ima after a hectic day of running here and there; as I could not sleep in peace without telling all the petty things I had faced in a day to her. Sometime she seems too boring with all my stories but she adjusted herself to my childish behavior.

Yesterday Ima came up with a new topic happening in my village. It was about the marriage of one of my far cousin. Though we were too close in childhood, we hardly talked to each other now because of many reasons. Ima said finally she got married. Her parents are running from pillar to pillar just to get her married. I had to ask her why she was using such phrase. It seems too odd to hear. Running pillar to pillar for getting married!! She is too beautiful and I know many guys run after him since then she was in class seven. Suddenly remembered her elopment with a guy when she was just sixteen years old. I told myself I got your point. While Ima trying to start with her advice of what are the maxims, a girl should know to live a dignified life, I had to say bye to her as I started to lose my own conscience of being a human. Keep on thinking about that little girl who was cute, beautiful and innocent. She was with me all the time when she was kid but after class eight she has lost her interest in study and we never had a common platform to meet. Now people have created an image for her after her elopement in a younger age. I got angry with the foolishness of her parents who never give importance to her education but cheer her up if she comes back from a date and praised by some guys passing on the road for her looks. I had to accept that this is the faith of the most of the girls in the village and small town places who were born to the illiterate parents and the society is there to bind them from all the angles. My cousins also faced the same faith.

Got angry with my own people, society and even with my own family for making her just an object whose only purpose in life is marriage. I know marriage is important in everybody’s life, at the end of the day we need somebody whom you can trust and share all your moments of sadness and happiness. But why should we get married at the cost of wasting the meaning & purpose of this life?? I feel like waking up Ima in the late night and ask her why do you people want her to get married so soon and doesn’t she have any purpose in her life other than finding a husband. I didn’t wake her up as I know she will be frightened again with such argument which she never wishes to hear from me.

Again remember my own sister who got married last year and now blessed with a baby boy. I still argue with her for leaving her teaching job in a private school and choosing to become a full time house-wife. Still I’m irritated with her in-laws words of asking her how much you will earn from the salary of a private school. She must be still angry with me for my objection to buy all the unnecessary stuffs as “aoonpot” during her marriage. I don’t know my sister will ever try to understand my words. I don’t want to see her portraying the role of a house wife only who has no authority, no life for herself. I wish she realized that that small sum she would earn from teaching the kids in the private schools and her evening tuitions would not be less than million dollars in her life. Moreover, the respect, value and the regard she would be getting from her job could never be challenged by anybody. I have no objection to becoming a house wife if the husband, family and the society dignify it as any other white color job and give them the respect and the authority; they must get being a member of the family. But who understand and count the petty sweats, a house wife would be wasting to run the house from early morning to late night to raise her kids and to take care of her husband and the in-laws. At the end of the day people counts on your job, and money which can only buy the momentary happiness in our life, not to the human value of you. Even their own children sometime would feel that my mother is jobless forgetting all the sacrifice she had done for them and the family.

Tired with my own discussion and arguments, I had to bow my head to myself to end this discussion here as I'm left with only few hours to sleep.


We need to create a new revolution, and to do that, do not waste your life: stop pleasing people and become who you always wanted to be..!!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Recalling the moments with you!!

When you linger on your old memories, when you open an old diary you are different, you feel different, and you are in a different world. Your old memory was your love only.
It may give you tears and pain but without it life will be meaningless. When I open my diary of early 2k, it surely made me cry but the emotion was so true and pure. NietherI could afford to buy it nor can I feel it again. I thought my soul is too contaminated now. I’m in search of that purity in my soul. When I re-read the poem which I wrote for him after the school, sitting near the window, I was with him again and floating in his world. I thought I’m still talking to the moon and sharing my dreams about him as I always do in the late night.

I still remember waiting for his mail for long hours and chatting for hours till late night in the cyber cafe in the foggy nights of Delhi. It was an unforgettable day in my life when I talked to him for the first time on phone for hours, I could never forget his voice, still his voice keep my soul alive whenever I remember those days. Whatever the reason it may be but my love for him was true and pure. I could never lei that I didn't love him just because he is not in my life. Wherever he is now, I always wish him for the best things in his life.

I still maintain his photographs and could never gather the courage to delete it from my inbox but I never wish to open them and look at him, it may remind me of his negative side. I don't wish to keep any bad memory about him. It was most difficult task in my life when I tried to forget him. But life goes on like this. I had to move ahead along with that pain in search of another meaning of this life. With time he lives as a shadow in my life. Sometime I forgot to notice him but somewhere he does exist in the deepest corner of my heart.

I could hardly remember how much I love him, never bother to make him understand too, never give an effort to forget or remember him but I forgot to feel the same feeling of love for another person in my life.

I still feel that somewhere I owe his love. But till today after so many years, I got only one answer to my own queries that we are not even a stranger to each other. Neither I bother to hear about him nor is he interested to know about me anymore.
Why do this feeling of apprehension come up to my mind, which says he is not the one I have ever waited for years and spent sleepless nights weeping those meaningless tears just to hear his voice again. I'm able to hear his voice again, I able to reach him again but never had the courage to speak to him and see him though he stays so near to me.

I wish, I could still wait for him in the bus stand after the school, just to get a glimpse of his smile before I leave for home. I still wish to feel that anxiety which I used to feel when I could not find him near the Bus stand. I just wish, every now and then these feelings of nothingness always fill up my hollow heart which you left empty years back.

Written on the night of 31st December, 2005 after I wish him for the New Year and to make another promise to look ahead in life without him and his dreams.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Concerned citizens of state meet Union Jt Home Secy

Source: Hueiyen News Service

New Delhi, November 04 2009: "We are aware of the boycott issue in Manipur and it is considered as top priority to be addressed by the Centre.

We are in the process of finding a solution and are in constant touch with the state government and I am hopeful that classes will resume shortly," Naveen Verma, Joint Secretary of (NE), Ministry of Home Affairs, Government of India, is quoted to have said during a meeting with the representatives of a group of Manipuri professionals residing across India today.

According to a statement issued by the representatives of the group, Manipuri professionals residing across Indian met with Naveen Verma, Joint Secretary of (NE), Ministry of Home Affairs, Government of India, and apprised him of the ongoing class boycott.

The citizens concerned have also submitted a memorandum to impress the State government in finding a solution to end the boycott called by various organisations in the state of Manipur.

The meeting lasted for over two hours.

The group stated in the memorandum that the inability of the State Government to end the stalemate between the student bodies and the government could have long-term consequences to students in Manipur.

The memorandum seeks an immediate solution to defuse the deadlock over boycott of educational institutions in Manipur.

"We, as citizen of Manipur strongly condemns any act of violence and we will support any attempt that will bring peace in the state of Manipur.

However, we believe that bringing peace at the cost of thousands of students is unjust," said a representative of the group.

The group reiterated that the present situation in Manipur calls for the Government to react swiftly to find a solution to the ongoing political and social imbroglio.

The group expressed concern over numerous reports about a possible dialogue between the agitators and the government, which has so far yielded no result, a serious concern for the parents whose children has been affected by the boycott.

As a part of the memorandum, the group submitted a copy of Tahelka magazine which carries the photos of the alleged fake-encounter killing on July 23rd in Imphal.

Expats meet jt. secy Home to urge Centre to intervene

Imphal free press

6 hours, 45 minutes, 29 seconds ago
From Nelson Elangbam
New Delhi, Nov 4 : A group of Manipuri professional residing across India met with Naveen Verma, joint secretary (NE), Ministry of Home Affairs, Government of India, to appraise him of the ongoing schools boycott and submitted a memorandum to request the state to find a solution to end the boycott by various organizations in the state.
The meeting lasted for over two hours.
The boycott initiated by All Manipur Student Union (AMSU), Manipur Student Federation (MSF) and Kangleipak Student Association (KSA) in the aftermath of the July 23rd incident that led to the death of a pregnant women, Th. Rabina and a civilian Ch. Sanjit has paralysed education in the state for nearly two months now.
The group in their memorandum stated that the inability of the state government to end the stalemate between the student bodies and the government could have severe long-term consequences to students in Manipur.
The memorandum sought an immediate solution to defuse the deadlock over boycott of educational institutions in Manipur.
“We, as citizen of Manipur strongly condemn any act of violence and we will support any attempt that will bring peace in the state of Manipur. However, we believe that bringing peace at the cost of thousand of students is unjust,” said a representative of the group.
The group reiterated that the present situation in Manipur calls for the government to react swiftly to find a solution to the ongoing political and social imbroglio.
Naveen Verma said, “We are aware of the boycott issue in Manipur and it is considered as top priority to be addressed by the Centre. We are in the process of finding a solution and are in constant touch with the state government and I am hopeful that classes will resume shortly”.
The group expressed concern as well as hope over numerous reports about a possible dialogue between the agitators and the government which has so far yielded no result.
The matter is of serious concern for parents whose children face the prospect of losing one academic year.
As a part of the memorandum, the group submitted a copy of Tahelka’s the Vol. 6, Issue 31, which a photo essay of the alleged killing on July 23rd in Imphal, an ‘Open Letter to Honorable Prime Minister of India-Stop the Killing in Manipur’, Various newspaper reports post the July 23rd incident and a copy of a joint press release, which were sent to media houses on October 30.

Friday, October 30, 2009

End class boycott deadlock: Bodies

End class boycott deadlock: Bodies
Source: Hueiyen News Service

Imphal, October 29 2009: Concerned over the class boycott agitation in the state, nine different organisations have urged both the parties to give room for dialogue, to break the deadlock and come up with a consensus benefiting the future of our society.

In a joint statement, nine organisations including Linux Manipur; Don Bosco Imphal Alumni; Khoibu Students' Union, Delhi; Kuki Students' Organization, Delhi; Naga Students' Union, Delhi; International Manipuri Progressive Forum, UK; Little Flower Alumni; Manipur Youth Foundation; Zillai Yahoogroups (International) have appealed to all to support education and lift the class boycott and find other ways and means.

The joint statement urged the agitating students that the aim and aspirations of the students unions agitating against the ongoing state sponsored terrorism deserve full solidarity from the public.

The student organisations in its struggle for the ruling government to be held accountable for the various human rights violations in Manipur have resorted to boycotting students' education.

"But we believe firmly that the consequence of the ongoing education or class boycott, in the long run, can become counter-productive, subsequently can contradict to the very purpose these organizations are seeking through the agitation, thereby rising the possibility of their image being perceived in a wrong light," the joint statement read.

Stating that any democratic protest has its own momentum and can ebb away slowly on its own as its driving force wane gradually, the statement observed that many incidents have happened and many protests and strikes have beengone through but the government, especially unaccountable ones, knows surely that it is not going to last.

"In fact, if we really look into the matter the public would even begin to forget the purpose behind the agitation of the student's Union.

During these critical phases many of the parents, guardians, teachers and general public are of the opinion that ongoing form of protest might be against the welfare of the people as due to the prolonged boycott of students' education," it stated.

The statement noted that the agitation has, to many, alarmingly look as if many of the public might have turned against the students associations, unfortunately forgetting the alleged crimes and injustice of the government.

The government is, as seen in the past, seems to be focused in just buying time, during which can result in an undesirable contradiction and distrust between the public and the agitating bodies, thereby resulting in a possible nullification of each other.

At that time, the statement observed, the public will then be again, might be left with nothing, without justice! .

It stated that had the government been truly democratic, then they would have never indulged in militarisation and its resulting gross violation.

Instead, any democratic government would have listened and act upon, to the many public outcry against the multiple fake encounters which have claimed thousands of lives till today.

Any ideal government would have initiated dialogues with the students' Unions regarding the boycott of children's education so as to safeguard the right to education.

But, instead of such prior justified responsible actions, the government has been playing with the fundamental civil rights and emotions of the public.

The government has done nothing that a democratic government should be doing, the statement noted.

These basic distortions and anomaly in the roots needs to be corrected for a prosperous future democratic society, but in an effort and protest to correct these basic wrongs, the use of class or education boycott can be interpreted as "too shallow and a counter-productive" method to be used, it observed.

"This crucial moment calls for a better and effective strategy which can exert a much intensifying and effective pressure to the government.

We would like to request to the various student's organization to please understand the need of continuation of a productive education especially during these unfortunate time, for we believe that in the long run, it is the best means to move our society to the form of humane democracy, we all aspire," it added.

Calling the government, the joint statement categorically asked the government why they are still sitting idle while the lives of thousands of the students are at stake.

"Why is the government taking a safe side by just being a silent spectator in the present situation? What is the purpose of the existence of a government that takes no responsibility for any kind of public grievance? Why has the government not come up with a forum to bring certain form of negotiation with the student organizations?," it asked.

"If the government is irresponsible and fails to understand the importance of the lives of thousands of students then we question the rationale behind its existence.

It is a clear signal that the present government is unable to handle the situation," it added.

The statement pointed out that if the government has any consideration for the students and the general public then it should have taken the initiative to speak to the student bodies to break the deadlock from the very first day of the class boycott.

The silence of the Government all this while only shows its lack of interest and carefree attitude toward the public.

If there is even an iota of concern left for justice then the government should move forward and arrange for a table of negotiations over which political dialogue can be conducted in order to solve the impasse.

Silence and indifference is worst than anything and it will only lead to further confusions deadlock will only get tighter, it stated.

The Government's silence only shows that it has no respect for the people, their lives and their dignity.

The government, that does not enjoy any support from the general public, has lost its legitimacy.

It is facing an inherent contradiction and sooner or later it can crumble on its own, it noted.

"How long is the government continue to remain indifferent and unaccountable from its responsibilities? It is necessary for the government to know and accept its fault and try to find ways of correcting themselves.

It must constantly be reminded that such boycott came up because of the dictatorial attitude of the government and its gross violation of civil rights and violent militarization of our state over a period of time," the statement noted.

Drawing the concerned of both the parties, the statement observed that there is a crucial need for a re-evaluation and reconfirmation of the purpose of education.

Education can give jobs, make a person much enlightened, and make one understand the society better.

But the main purpose of education is to make someone capable of questioning the existing systems -political, economic, social or ethical if any of these systems perpetuate subjugation, oppression and exploitation and subsequently to denounce those unjust elements and resist and change them towards fairer ones.

"Our society is emaciated for want of these means provided by education.

In fact, the more we boycott classes the more political turmoil we are inviting in the long run.

Education is the only way to make people capable of making dialogue without which no human community can survive in peace.

In this dark and disappointing environment, education is the only ray of hope.

We call upon all to rise above to put forward education," it underlined.

Education is crucial to the life of our democracy.

In that sense, anybody who has been thinking about democracy has to think about education.

There is a profound connection between guaranteeing democratic rights and education as the foundation, which makes democracy work.

The founding of the common school, the public school was for the foundation for an effective and successful democracy.

The connection between schooling, citizenship and democracy is taken for granted, the statement elucidated.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Just another dream!!

No matter what life bring on my way
I will always be there for you,
I can't still ignore the feeling inside,
Seems it keep me alive every now and then,
Yeah, from the time I met you!!

But I’m also sad
Though I know nothing could stop
To be with you, only with you
That’s why sometime I run away from myself,
to deny the fact and to hide the real me,
I saw my anger to conceal my love,
I always hide my soft corner,
to move ahead in life with a fake smile,
and to lure my life with fake happiness,
But I’m still alone!!

Still I feel too lonely without you,
Still I sing that unsung song of my heart,
Still I murmur and recall the moment we have shared,
Still I catch the droplets of tears from my eyes,
to get a glimpse of you in it
And I still ask why you can’t love me!!

I didn’t get your answer yet,
But every now and then,
This feeling inside me is making me crazy,
Neither I can forget nor can I ignore,
I still wish to wait for you,
My eyes still look for you in this crowd
No matter whether you love me or not,
No matter whether you stand for me or not!!

You know why I’m still sad with you?
You didn’t let me go from you
You didn’t let me carry a bad memory of you
I want to you to hurt me
And go on in life with that feeling of hatred
But still you didn’t let me go!!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Hurt me!!

Had not you hurt me
I would have missed the beauty of my smile
Had not you hurt me
I would have missed the preciousness of my tears
Yes, Had not you hurt me,
I would have missed the beauty of my life!!

Come back to my life and hurt me again

Hurt me to make me fall in love with my life
Hurt me every passing moments
Hurt me whenever I remember you
Hurt my poor heart which only beats to the rhythm of your songs

Come back to my life and hurt me again

Hurt me again so that I can begin a new life
A life without you and your dream
Meaningful and worthy
A life not paints with your fake smile

Come back to my life and hurt me again

Hurt me again so that I could collect the courage
to gather the pieces of my wings
which you broke and left behind
like the pieces of paper

Come back to my life and hurt me again

Hurt me again so that I can fly
with the pieces of my broken wings
Hurt me again so that my heart forgets to beat
in your rhythm forever!!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Appeal to lift the boycott!!

Dear Brothers and Sisters of the Jeweled Land –

Education in its broadest sense is any act or experience that has a formative effect on the mind, character or physical ability of an individual. In its technical sense education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge, skills and values from one generation to another.

A lot has happened in the last many years in Manipur that has degraded our society, however, each one of us live in some hope that all these will come to pass. The older generations fought, suffered and lived through it. But do we want our younger generation go through it all over again? Perhaps not!

In an ideal world, what has happened in Manipur could be termed as equivalent to a holocaust. The sheer disrespect for human lives is almost shocking but then, it was what we have created and we must constantly look for avenues for change and make survival worthwhile even in the worst of time.

In the past few months, many schools in the state have been shut by various organizations in the state as a protest against fake encounters. We empathize with them in their quest to bring stability to the state and they will find every single Manipuri supporting them in their quest to bring peace. However, in the same breathe, we would like to point out that, perhaps, banning the young children from going to school to achieve peace and stability is not at all conducive, considering the future of a few millions young children are at stake!

It is only education that will enable our younger generation to get a respectable job and make them capable of questioning the existing systems; political, economic, social or ethical if any of these systems perpetuate subjugation, oppression and exploitation and subsequently denounce those unjust elements and resist and change them. Our society is emaciated for want of these means provided by education. In fact the more we boycott classes the more political turmoil we are inviting in the long run. Education is the only way to make people capable of dialogue without which no human community can survive in peace.

We, therefore, appeal to all to support education and lift boycott and find better ways and means. We call upon all to rise above to put education forward. We call upon both the sides to give room for dialogue to break the deadlock and come up with a consensus benefiting the future of our society.

We want the boycott to be lifted and opt for another way of protest against the state sponsored terrorism. Therefore, we are writing to you to help us out in voicing/appealing to the said student organizations to opt for another way of protest and let the students study. Let us all work together, discuss this issue in detail and come up with a joint appeal to the organizations supporting the boycott. We hope our proposal would be agreeable to you all.

Thanking you,

1. Romeo Ningombam, Bangalore
2. Chaoba Phuritshabam, Delhi
3. Joysana Chingakham, Kolkata
4. Shreema Ningombam, Imphal
5. Tiken Laishram, Bangalore
6. Khuman Ngakpa Oinam, Mumbai
7. Ringo Pebam, Bangalore
8. Sam Khumanthem, Hyderabad
9. Vimol Kshetrimayum, Pune
10. Sumitra Thoidingjam, Delhi
11. Babina Wahengbam, Delhi
12. Duran Thiyam, Mumbai
13. Supriya Shijagurumayum, Delhi
14. John Zamkhomang Munluo, Gurgoan
15. Akee Sorokhaibam, Mumbai
16. Ronid Chingangbam, Delhi
17. Raju Athokpam, Delhi
18. Dwipen Khwairakpam, Mumbai
19. Krishnakanta Laiphangbam, Bangalore

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The food for fasting!!

Today is Karva Chouth-prayers seeking the welfare, prosperity, well-being, and longevity of their husbands. I doubt what makes a sense of fasting for a long live of the husband in such a busy life when you hardly have time to breath. What about initiating another idea of husband fasting for his wife and waiting for the moon to shine in the sky when the night comes.

I have no offence against any religion. I'm also a hindu by certificate though I don't follow any religion. I believe in existence of a unseen Davine which hold us and still pull us to move ahead in live. But I don't obey any rituals which says God will grant your wish if you pray like this. I always thought God or the unseen divine would be very irritated seeing the selfishness of the human. Why they go to Mandir, Church, beg for their wish to be fulfilled or do you need to waste your precious life by just spending time in a temple, by just standing and looking after the unbreath idols. What about making a change and serving the poor and giving them a place to sleep to the place where such big temples, churches or mosques are built up just for the sake of the religion. I doubt none of the God would come and say build up my place to stay. When you believe in something which is not exist then why do do build up a big house to live for the God/Goddess.

The duration of navrati make me annoyed seeing the crowd in the office canteen. There was separate food for those people who are fasting. My question may be agitated to my colleagues when I asked them the meaning of the " food for fasting". He used to eat 10 to 20 puris of fasting food. Said he is not going to eat the whole night. Wow, I can only said sometime human also act as a camel??? You store eveything in the day time and digest it later. If I'm not wrong, they are just contradicting what they are doing. At the first place why do you need to show to the rest of the world that you are obeying the God. Isn't it so called "show off factor",created by themselves.

It seems too Hypocratic when you give the reason to believe to God just for the sake of religion and showing off to the people. I'm not an atheist too. I believe in God which I feel is inside me and guiding me to do good and not to harm the rest of human living around me.

That's my prayer for everyday! That's my purpose of believing to the God.

Monday, October 5, 2009

To say "no" is painful but better than a "yes" that brings regret!!

The most difficult task in my life is saying "no" to someone/something. That just hurt myself and I just asked myself why I can't finish everything with a single "no".

Everytime I remind myself if something is not feasible to me, I should say " no" but I couldn't do it till not. I'm regretted again. I still commit the same mistake.

I'm just confused how should I learn to say "no instead of hurting myself later on.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Washak tugi Warep!!

Sakkhiba washak tudani
Eina warouriba
Eina hangoiriba
Sakkhiba washak nangoda
Nangi narup thupna liege haina
Washak tugi warep tuni
Eshana eshabu enthoklibase

Kanna eibu washakhalibano
Kannana eibu ashuk tonna hinghanlibano
Washak tudani eina souribase
Washak tugi warep tuni
Eina pendribase
Koubibagira nangna eise nangi nupi haina
Sokpibagira eigi hakchangse
Kananasu pamlaktanaba
Nangi meenam lalouda thukhrabada
Pubirure Eibu supnagi ahing amakhakta
kokte dagti punshi chupagi

Washaktugi wareptuni
Eina souningliba
Washaktugi hourakphamduni
Eina muthatke singnaribase
Yangoi lamjao sorok ta
Eibu khujeng paiduna
Eibu Nungshi haikhibadusu
Nangini haiba kallaknabakhira?
Natraga meeyam mamangda
Nangi touba ngamba utnabakhakla?

Hukkhiba kundo parengdusu
Punshigi leipuni haiduna
Supnatangi eibu punshinabra
Eigi ningtamna hingba punshibu kallaktuna?

Washaktugi warep tuni
Eina kanthi thokna souriba
Artha thoktraba
Mammal youhankhidraba
Nangonda sakhiba washak tunani
Eibu ashuk kanna punshinliba
Thabum mapal naopuduna
Nangi e-matum dagi semkhiba
Nangita oiragababa echa ashigira
Eina nangonda sakhiba washakto

natraga chahi litshang sitna
punshi tangkhai hing
punshi tangkhai shi
nakha ponna hingbagira
sakhiba eigi washakto
washaktugi warep tunani
eibu houjik su kaphanliba
eshana eshabu tukatchahanliba

Nangna eibu thadoklamlabada
Nangi sanagi keisum sangdagi
karigi amuksu thamlamli
amuba chandolshe
karigi aduk puchel pikliba
thadoklamdriba karigo
ening tamna paijanaba
hanglaba atiya thaksida
masigira eina shakhiba washak to
washak tugi warep tunani
eibu ashuk lapna enthokpiriba eingondagi!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Denouce the undemocratic Movement!!

Dear All,

As we all know that Schools and colleges in back home are closed for almost one month by the ongoing boycott by the student Union AMSU. Board/Council exams are only 4-5 months from now. What are these students going to do in the examination hall. The most dramatic thing about the mockery system is Manipur is that last year both AMSU and DESAM has done their duty of checking the unfair means in the exam.

How can a student pass an exam when they are ban and disturb from their study??
Are we puppets/parrot so that we can just be fit and speaks which is only taught. The most effected group in our society are the students. Instead of supporting the education system, students are used as tool of politics. That's most barbaric and unacceptable things happening in back home.

The question here is what we are going to achieve by kicking ourselves? Why are we always in the motive of harming ourselves? Our parents earn petty money out of the hard work and send us to school and colleges so that someday we should be able to stand on our own feet and so something good for the family and the society.

What would be the future of a state where only uneducated people would be living? School and colleges are not only for getting a degree, it's where we learn what is moral, immoral which is basic needs of the life. What are we going to produce in another 10 years down the line by boycotting the education in Manipur. If we want a peaceful society then we need a well educated people who can understand the importance of education in building up a society.

Whatever we are facing today in back home is because of all the uneducated politicians and unauthorized bodies running the system and playing their power game.

Can we expect that we will get the demand by banning education. I don't think none of the politicians and those who are involved in such dirty politics would be sending their kids in the schools in home.

It is a high time, we collective denounce such undemocratic act for whatever the reason it is. We all support the protest against the inhuman treatment of the present govt. to the people but if the protest is also against the civil society then what makes them different from the present ruling govt.

By such protest we can just build up another immoral and barbaric society much worse than now where people gives no value to the life.

A mail from a friend which expresses deep sadness and frustration over such act.

A Chinese proverb says :- "If you want to think one year ahead, plant rice If you want to think 10 years ahead, plant trees. But if you want to think 100 years ahead, give education to people"

Ironically the supposedly descendants of Chinese civilization, are trying hard to deprived their children of education, education in any form - school or non-schools.

All schools are closed since last 3 weeks. No one knows when they will be open again - after 1 month, 4 months or may be after 2 years. Whoever comes on the way are treated as traitors. Most of us, if not all, might be thinking who cares about school, even during our days we made up everything from tuition. FYI information even tuition classes are not allowed.

It observed that the students may not only lose the academic year of 2009.The students could also be deprived of their studies till 2010 0r 2011 while attributing the cause to Ibobi.

This is going too much. Their board exam are hardly 4-5 months away. Exams cannot be stopped regardless of whether classes happen or not. How the hell are they going to write those exam? Worse hit will be those in class 12 appearing the national level exams some preparing for IIT, AIEEE, Medical exams, or Admission to various colleges.

Imagine yourself in the place of the students in class 10 and 12. All of us seems to be happy and proud with whatever we are because we earn in dollars, pounds, some 7 digit annual salary, or we are Doctorate, masters, Engineers. Have you ever think would we have been the same if we didn't have any class/tuition from Sept. previous year till your exam in March-April? Will you have have got admission in college in Delhi or your engineering college? Some people, earning the status of most learned folks, are busy analysis the situation trying to use their brilliant brain to solve the chicken and hen problem hoping that some day solution will come but at the same time ignoring what is happening around. Do they know that they may not have that much brain if they were born 10-20 years later?

We grew up hearing that Manipuri's are the most advanced people in NE states. Comparing to other NE states we have the highest number of research scholars and doctorates, highest number of engineers, have always have best results in almost all competitive exams. We all were proud of this fact. Our children will grow up hearing the same but in past tense - "We were ... , we used to be .... ".

Every year we spend more than Rs.1 lakh from our hard earn money trying to promote IT in Manipur. Every month we contributed from our pocket money in order to support a few poor students' education. We think that we are doing for a good cause. F****k the cause; it doesn't have any meaning when there is total annihilation of education. Close this MYF, LM and whatever thing; stop working for your bloody cause. Everything has no meaning.

We tried so hard to give some hope to few of students. Now they are taking away hope from everyone. How can they do this?

Why should I care? I and my siblings are done with my education, I have enough money to support education for my kids in good schools outside Manipur. I don't even know why the hell am writing this.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Oiningi eisu urit napangbido!!

Hada urit napangbi,
Namana kouye tadabi,
Napana kouyi khumdabi,
Hada urit napangbi,
Eina koubase amukta khumlamu!

Painingle eisu nangumna,
Kanabusu tadana,
Kanabusu thaoidana,
Tabang meeoiba eikhoise,
Meephata nagkta oiramle,
Meenungsu haido youdare,
Meehatpung olle malem se,
Nangbu taribara,
Hada urik taribara,
Eisu nangum painingle,
Meenungsi khanda taibangda,
Kanana haibabu tasige,
Kanagi yathang ngaksige,
Khangbada warre,
Yengba ngamdare,
Eisu natung ellake,
Tamthiba saphu phangdringei,
Kalakpana eibu khudum chandringei,
Eisu ngangumna painingle,
Apam apam chaduna,
Sajik chilhou thidana,
Sangla Phouna marakta,
Paininglakle nangumna,
Malang sahum enduna,
Punshi pandom lomdri pho,
Eisu napangbi oiningle nangumna,
Kanabusu tadana,
Kanabusu thaoidana,
Eining tamna hingninglle.
Pakla malang atiyase,
Eigita oiningle,
Ening tamna painaba,
Yengshinbinaba kanna youdana,
Ubinaba kanna leitana,
Esha ereng phandoktuna,
Thekna khoina painingle,
Eishu natung ellake,
Eishu nangumna oiningle,
Amuktadi ngaikhoba,
Hada urit napangbi,
Eina kouribase khumlamu,
Eisu natung ellake!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Lighter side of the life!!

A gesture, a single word from a person makes your life so valuable and beautiful.

That's the lighter side of the life which takes you ahead and that's how you moved on in life. I also had a beautiful share of memory with the one who help and guide me to reach the sky and play among the stars. How I'm here sitting and writing this piece of story of my life, its sometime begun from him only...It was just pop up in my mind after a long time. After almost 9 years back from now;

Remembering someone who is very important in my life. He a teacher, a friend, a motivator, a supporter and also my first love. Never thought a stranger becoming so important and even changing my life. Our first introduction starts with the first chapter of Inorganic chemistry. Among the metals and non-metals of the periodic table, we seem to look each with some other connection. Never spoken a word to each other but I was always sure that he would be there to support me. Yeah, it happened just the way I dream of.

Contrary to what I'm now, I'm quite shy and soft spoken. I hardly interacted with anybody in the class except the few girls sitting next to me. Boys are no-no for me. I thought they are enough reason to put you in a big mess in my life. I always stayed away from them. I hardly know half of my classmates till my 12th class. Some says I'm arrogant, some says I'm quite shy. But I'm not belonged to any of these. I just wanted to be with myself. Always busy with my study and my own dreams. I remember the first poem I wrote for him and I regretted throwing it just after I left the school. People may feel weird on hearing how I have fallen for him, a teacher in the school. But we never try to break the beautiful student-teacher relationship. We never talk about anything beyond our books. It’s true that I never missed to open my Chemistry book how busy I’m. I have always targeted that I should get the highest mark in his class. I also did what I wanted.

But our dream just remain as a dream. I got shocked and almost in tears when he said to his colleague that I’m his favorite student and I’m the most dedicated one in the class. My classmate talks lots of bullshit about me and Sir but there was nothing as they developed their own story. It was true that he always supported me and worried for me all the time as I’m the only girl coming from a far distance among the group of boys.

Sometime he would wait for me in the bus stand till I board my bus and even lend his umbrella if I don’t carry a one on the rainy day. Seeing him peeping from the bus window just to make sure that I have safely board the bus or my friends with me, makes me feel so secure.

But our dream remain as a dream only. I had my first heartbreak when I heard about a girl approaching him for marriage proposal just before my council exam. For some days, I even run from him and did not talk to him. After that I have promised to myself that I will never meet him and talk to him. I still feel very funny of my attitude towards him. But I can’t ignore for his emotions for me also. My friend told me why I didn’t inform him before I leave for Delhi? He was coming and asking all my classmates and he even visited to examination center of MBBS exam to search for me. With time I try to change myself. After my first year exam, I stayed at home for around two months. I even visited to meet my teachers but I have decided not to meet him. Two days before I left for Delhi, he came with his friend in my home. I think that was the most embarrassing moment in my life and his friend is also my teacher. He knew everything about us. He only told me to keep in touch with us even though you stay there in Delhi. But I never did that as I do not want to look back and hurt myself. After two years we had another chance of meeting in my friend’s place in Delhi with all my classmates. I know all my classmates are eager to look his expression when we meet, so I acted in a little different way so that he become comfortable and avoid showing his awkward nature in front of all. As I thought, I change my attitude towards him. Now, he is only that teacher who teaches me Chemistry, but not the one who had a soft corner for me. After two years of mingling with people here, I have also started opening my mouth much wider and louder when I speak.

I was happy because people don’t have the chance to see our Hindi film style meeting. Only thing he had told me was about my new avatar of very talkative nature. He only asked me do you like Chemistry? How much you scored in your exam? I said this is only subject I can opt for further study, thats all I know about Chemistry. Yeah, this is the only subject I have ever loved to study. My entire table, walls surrounds with the uneven structures of the compounds and names. My friends simply hate to enter in my room.. It took me to the place where I’m today. I fall in love with the subject, with the periodic table and with the foul smell of the Lab just for nothing.

But with time I moved on and I still cherish the moment we had shared without even speaking anything to each other. Few months back I had to call him for my brother’s tuition as he is one best teacher in Chemistry in Manipur. I don’t know what I felt after I kept the phone but it was a different feeling. I feel proud that he took care of and support me so much. I still remember his face when I caught him talking about me to his friends. I had only one question to my mother, if I marry a teacher of 28 years old, what would be the problem?? I know my mother was furious with me all the time because of this question but I want her to say that it is ok and go ahead! But she never said that. He was 10 years older to me that time and I just wish I was of his same age only at that time.. My mother got more angry when I told her that he had came to meet me before I leave for Delhi...

This time I went home in July to see my grandma. My brother saw me the brochure of the school which is led by him and his friends. It's one of the most famous school in Manipur now. He looks much mature in the picture but he still maintains his charm and honesty, of course his trademark smile in the picture. His picture of receiving best chemistry teacher award given by Education(S) was in the brochure. It makes me so proud that moment and I just convinced myself, he is the one who had supported me all the time. I just smile and said to myself, I’m so lucky; he is the one who had motivated me to be what I’m.

I heard about his daughter from one of my teacher. Said she is very beautiful and witty. I just said to myself, she must be very intelligent just like his father! Like father, Like daughter!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Hanglaba ka amada
Amamba marak ta thiri eisu
Ningtamba gi artha
Khuta nongmei paiduna
Leingak pasu khit ngamde,
Lanmi tengol puduna lan-ngakpasu toungamde,
Thangi Jagoi Saduna
Thangal general matou tam,
Bomb gi meina kakpasu heihoude
Thiri amamba maraksida
Ningtambagi artha!

Khalli Bir Tikredrajit matou tam,
Shamu khongda yet,
Thouna phaba ngamladi
Amuksu kirak ee
Piklaba eigi thawaisigi
Khallak ee bhrama na pokpa ngamdaba mapok se
Karam na laina manghangani
Epu Paona leiramlaba
Eisu thouna pharamgdra
Khalli ethanta mamlaba ka ashida
Thibadi lepte
Ningtambagi artha!

Thaplaba chingya tamya da
Enga gi nongju-gum
Leptana churiba
Nomei gi makhol na
Eigi wakhal bu hek hek thugairi
Khalak yee kanagi ningtambano tandoise?

Ching-gi Siroi lily gira?
Atiya da thaja mabu ngairiba Nongein mahakira?
Makhoigi ningtambana kana munkhraba?
Ching da khonglamba Tamnasu
Masaigol thadok tuna chenkhare
Menglaba magi khonjel bu taraga
Kallak meehou chouba mee oibana
Landarakadra kibana,
Siroi chingi lily su sattare
Khanguthakta thadatpigadra kibana,
Soidana hanglamgani lonthoktrabasu
Eikhoigi ningtambana kadaida?

Phamli ethanata houjik su
Mamlaba eigi kasida
Ningtambi artha thiduna!!
Kanasu laklaga taklade
Kanasu laklaga hanglade
Eigi ningtambagi artha?

Eikhoigi Ningtambagi lalhouda
Loktak ki luraba laijasu
Phumdi-houdi marak ta
Makhum louduna lotkhare
Loktaki ethat mapie da
Thekna jagoi sarambi
Nganu thangong kayasu
Poirei meitei leibak- tagi
Mit-yeng tamna leikhre
Korouhanba masu warouramalle
Sanakhride amuk hana
Loktaki leijanungda,
Khallak ee maoon maoon
Ningtamba tallibase kanagino?
Hangli ningtambagi artha?
Chingi siroi lily gira?
Chingyagi tamna nangi ra?
Ekai phiruk khumkhrabi Loktak ki leija nangisura?
Ningtambase kanagino?
Amuksu khallak li wakhalsi da
Amuktang pokpa mapoksida
Bhramana kalakchaba mee-oi poksida
Nongein na thaja meikei yengbagumna
Ningtambagi artha thiduna leirasira eisu?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Random calls!

Annoy me again
With your arguments,
Annoy me again,
With your cry,
Annoy me again,
With your echoing voice,
Annoy me again
With your random calls!

Days may be bright,
Night may be dark,
I really do not bother,
As I only wait for you,
and your random calls!

It’s our petty fight,
I miss the most,
It’s your hatred emotions,
I love the most,
It’s the droplets of tears
I cherish the most,
It’s your perplexing words,
Still waking me up in the night!

I miss you like anything now!

Listen to me
for a moment,
Bear with me
for another moment to come,
as I ain’t sure
What life would bring
to me tomorrow
Heaven or hell!!

Listen to me
for the last time
As you are leaving me behind,
Listen to the cry of my heart,
It still murmurs to you,
I forgot to move on!
It still says,
I only wait for you
to look back!!

As I wake up from my sleep,
At this late hour,
I heard
Someone’s call
From the far ahead,
I thought
You had called me,
I thought
You had come,
To annoy me again
And to play with my tears!

I have only few words to say now.

I miss your random calls!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Without you!!

When the words fails to speak,
When the tears stops to fall
When the blood ignore to run,
I remember only you!
You know I don’t exist without you,
Do you still deny that
I don’t wish to live without you!
you can’t just hate me,
you can’t just deny me,
you can’t just leave me in the darkness,
just because I can’t ever forget you!
Ask me to walk the miles ahead,
In a tormented road,
Where I can break myself into pieces,
to remove the traces of you within me!
Ask me to wait for another birth,
Where we will meet again,
Where you can love
Only me,
But don’t hurt me with your ignorance,
You know that,
I can’t bear it,
You know that
without you I have no life!
I will even stay miles away
from your dreams and hope
If you wish to!
I will walk away to a place,
Where you can’t ever see me again,
I will ever live happily,
To a place where
you can only trace my pyre dust,
But never say the word,
You can’t love me,
I will learn to live without you,
I will learn to sleep without your dream,
I will learn to walk without you
telling me road ahead
but I can do so
only if the heart stops to beat!
years may pass,
distances may come
between me and my dream,
it may become a hurdle in my way,
but I will rather come near to you!
don’t hate me for my expectation to you,
don’t hate me for loving you,
you know that,
I never wish to live without you,
If you wish me to forget you,
I will never bother you again,
If you don’t care the weeping eyes,
which waits to see only you,
I will never come near you,
But I can only do so,
If I can wait till that
moment which would free me
from your dream
and from this life!
Now you answer me,
Do you still deny that
I don’t wish to live without you!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Digging in the Mud and fighting with a pig!!

This is what I do every day & night alone with my own thought. I know I’m not worried about anything and nothing has been changed to me because of anything. My thought is irrevocable sometime but it also knows that change is a constant for me. I accepted now what I have seen. I believe to the facts which people have ever shown me to any kind of relationships. It is not worth breaking my precious heart for person(s) who had not played any role in my life. My friend was very right that I have to put a barrier between everything which I do and I can’t be so close and hopeful to everybody. Neither can I blame them too. I know he was quite tired listening to me from the past 2 years. Every night and day I had my complaint box full of complains to deliver to him. Step by step, he is the one who would listen and tell me to understand the people before I get hurt. I hardly listen to him and I know at end of the whole episode I had to bear the thunder from him. After seeing the whole mess I have created for myself, he had to use the harsh word ever to me. Because he knew that I won’t ever understand and come into the track if he doesn’t do that and I won’t ever force myself to change the path to the hell.

Yes, you are very right. I was just digging into the mud and getting dirty with my own fight with a pig i.e. my thought about the one I love and care for the past two years. Yeah, you said the right words, why should he care and why should he take me as a friend also? Did he ever committed and said to you that he is a good friend of you? Nope, of course not. He did not do that at all and I can’t claim anything I know. I have no right to ask that. But I also have my own reason of thinking so. I, at least demand for the minimum respect in front of you and the one who know both of us well. I don’t care to break any kind of relations with him before others but I could never forgive myself for the least unexpected disregard from him. Why would he need somebody’s assistance now to pass a message and to take comment on our friendship? I would never let it do by a 3rd person whoever they are and how close they are to me. It is simply an insult to me, and contempt to my self respect. What I’m and who I’m? I should be able to decide and why would you place me in front of others eyes and note the balance?

Yes, I had a hard time to come at this stage of life but I said no worry to myself again. It will pass soon. It is almost gone now with you and your thought. I will no longer bother you and even my own thought about you. It is the end I should tell to you and the rest. Whether you flirt with other women, whether you get the sadistic pleasure out of the pain I had gone through, I have nothing to do now. I will only wait for the moment in this lifetime when you learn the meaning of a relation of any kind and of your image in front of your own eyes if you are a person who is truthful to yourself. Forget the rest, how others see and think about you is what you show it to them, but not merely you. This is what I learn from you lately.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Identity Crisis!!

FRom the past 5 years my parents keep on narrating me on phone about the militants using Loktak as their shelter. My father would always discuss with me to sell off the property in the nearby places, as it may just become another hub for them and we might be in trouble someday. More than 3 years have passed, I had my promise of not to visit the Loktak Lake. When I was in school, I used to go every weekend with my cousin brother just to have fun. Brother was killed in an accident in Goa and after that I never look back to go there as I don’t want to feel the emptiness of his non-existence. I did not even go home as I was so scarred to see his death body and still I live with the thought that he still lives somewhere.

This time I took a break from everything and visit there with my cousin sisters. Things have been changed a lot. The Loktak Lake doesn’t look like a lake anymore. There was no visibility of migratory birds as we used to see 8 years back. It seems like even the wind stop blowing to refresh the tired soul of the farmers and fishermen. The change which I could only noticed was the strange noise of the gunshots spreading in the wide sky from the surrounding places. It might be from Thanga, Karang, Bishempur and Moirang side. The entire water surface was covered with marshy land and the water space was much narrower than what we used to see in decades back. My parents also told me about the burning of the crane which was sent to clean the Lake by the miscreants. No compliant at all, if people are too obsessed of destructing their own property! It is very much usual in Manipur to show their power by burning down the govt. property. Interestingly I have only option to see the Lake, to climb to a Gulmohar tree near the Lake and take a glimpse of its beauty. My cousin sister told me, this tree is used by militants to look for police/commandos coming from other side of the Loktak. I just said “wow” and that’s really great! We are replacing their position today and let’s see who came first today; the police or the militants?

I thought I’m gutsy enough to face anybody. So I was just having fun; sitting on the braches of the tree, eating fruits and taking photographs of the lake. After sometime, I heard somebody calling from far off. Suddenly I realized that I was the first one to jump off from the tree and running towards the road, putting my best effort to speed up where the vehicles were parked. After sometime one of the fisherman told me, don’t panic! Nobody will come here now. Everybody seems to be killed after the Operation Summer Storm and we are at peace working in the field now. I was bit relief. I don’t know why I was scarred of the place where I used to spend lots of time in my childhood. But now every face was strange to me and scary in my eyes. I imagine of guns & grenades in every person’s lubak, tungol which is meant for carrying fish. I remember my mother telling me long time back about the police checking in the Lubak or tungol of the fisherman/fisherwomen by the CRP, having a doubt of them acting as a transporter of the militants. I decided to leave the place as soon as possible as I could no longer stand the insecurity of my own life in my own home. I was just praying inside to pass the road of approx. 5 km long in a second and reach home safely. Finally, I got some space to sit in a Jeep loaded with more than 20 people. It was accommodated like a mini bus. I didn’t bother anymore as I wanted to reach home before the sunset. After all that’s the only transport system we have on that muddy road to the Loktak Lake. I can’t be choosy here for my space and comfort!!

But my mind was bit relaxed after sometime. I was so delighted to see the courage of the fisherwomen walking on the muddy road with a hugely load Lubak on their head. I was asking myself, can I even lift the Lubak on their head? It must be very heavy and seeing their face and their laughter give the courage to live life with full of joy. Their lives seem so simple and meaningful without any materialistic charm. I told myself who said that women are more beautiful with the glitters of the gold. It just shades their natural charm. I was just dreaming what if William Worthsworth was born here! He must have written more beautiful poem than the “Solitary reaper”; a poem more romantic and melancholic than the Solitary Reaper”, after seeing the face of the fisherwomen who are toiling day and night to survive amidst the indiscriminate spray of bullets and grenades. I hope not the solitary reaper was prettier than our own fisherwomen.

About to reach home, the Jeep driver asked me if I carry any Identity-card. I was surprised and answered him bit reluctantly; why should I need an I-card in the field? Who will come and check my I-card? You are not here for a long time so you hardly know what’s happening here in actual. It is more like you see in the English movie. From next time onwards, make sure to carry an I-card with you and he showed me his voter card. It’s your luck that you have not met the CRP or the police Commandos today in the field. They come here very often here to check for the passage of millitants through this road and if they happen to caught you then you have no option to prove your identity. Many questions were hurled in my mind; is it logical and justified morally, ethically to trouble the people who are toiling day and night to survive in this lake from the last 50 years? Isn’t it an insult and humiliation to the people inhibiting here by checking their I-card for every passage to the lake and leaving them only option to work amidst the bullets and the grenades?
I just pray God pay a visit and do the justice towards these farmers and fishermen. Give them the freedom to work without any fear of guns and bullets to this place where they were born and inhibited from the last 50-60 years. It is their birth right. You may choose another place for the battle which you are fighting for yourself. Let’s not kick in the stomach of these people who are already suffering from the hit of poverty and from both natural& man-made calamities. Either you kill them with the bullets or die of starvation; it won’t make any difference to them. They won’t make a JAC to stand against anybody. They don’t even know the meaning of JAC, politics, revolution, justice. Let them free from all these stuffs. They don’t bother about it as they don’t know the meaning and have no time to think about your petty politics. They have thier own battle to feed their children and family. They only know how to count on the dead bodies killed by the foreign made guns and bullets. All of them are illiterate, they have no idea of the sign civilisation which you showed with your guns/granades. They are still surviving with the simplest way of earning without anybody’s assistance. Give them an option to live or die. Remember again, it is their birth right!!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Let's speak up for our deprived Rights!!

Let's speak up for the rights which are deprived from us. No one will come and rescue us while we dig on the hell and live a life like a prisoner. Let's demand for the our rights to life, rights to fredom, dignity to live in this world.

... It's not about just obeying and following the Constitution or any law/lagislature. But it is the right which is given only to me/us by a greater Devine before the constitution, the legislature, the UN exist or form on this earth to run and rule our lives. Nobody has a monopoly right to deprive us from living freely. We have to fight against them irrespective of the legitimate or illegitimate rights empowered to them to kill us and torture in the way they feel like. We should not be tolerant to such day to day attocities and it is the time that we show our resistant to such fools who are sucking our blood and torture our soul everyday.

It is a high time that we question the human rights activists to leave the state and not to sell our rights to live, our right to survive while they are roaming the world for their personal benefits/name/fame etc. Let's not give more importance to such namesake NGO's and activism anymore. Let's not give them the chance to burgain our dead body to the govt. Why would we let them speak about our right to live, when they are using us for a cause to earn profit. How many human rights activist have ever come forward to save any life in Manipur. Why are we just count on the mushrooming of human rights activist in Manipur? It's a big question we should put on them. Because it is just a good business to a killing field like Manipur where the whole system is paralysed and you have only one way to increase the steps of your buiding; that's to become a human Rights activist. You should know how to promote your business, that's killing the people by internal and external politics. you should know how to deal the dead body with the govt for the ex-gratia from that they will earn the percentage of their share. whatever it may cost. Another term of human rights activist is business of selling human whether dead or alive. We should stop them from earning easy money out the bloodshed.

We should wake up from the long seista before the time is not too late and let's not wait for the day where we won't be left with nothing to recover in our hand.


Walking on a path less known,
Believing to a truth not acceptable,
Forgetting a person more close than my soul,
This is where I arrive,
The land which is uncertain,
Uncertainty which lies beyond my understanding,
Uncertainty beyond my reach,
The path I would walk again
Its uncertain to me,
Unknown and unacceptable,
Where I lost the trust,
Where I can’t think beyond you!
Another uncertainty ,
Waiting for me in the path ahead!
It may wrap what it wants
Without bothering me,
But I have no choice to deny it,
I have to move on,
Until I reach to touch
And walk upon another uncertainty.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Whose Independence is this???

Picture courtesy: Chaoba Phuritshabam

When the whole country celebrate the Independence Day, our lives are still filled with fear, anguish,pain and tear. Whose Independence is this anyway? Why would I like to call that I'm an Indian? I feel ashamed of calling myself to be citizen of this country who put our lives in hell.

Reading the constitutional articles torture me everyday. Where is articel 14,15, on for us? When our lives are thrown into hell and we live with the fear of dying every moment, where is my independence? Every moment I'm afraid of the safty of my brother, father, mother, sister, how can I live in peace. Neither I can live to the place where I was born nor I can leave even though it is a hell.

I'm left with only one option to fight to live in this hell.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Can India Reform Its Wayward Police Force?

http://www.time. com/time/ world/article/ 0,8599,1915509, 00.html

By Madhur Singh / New Delhi

Manipur state police commandos announce resumption of curfew after a relaxation period of four hours expired in Imphal, India, Aug. 6, 2009.

When an unidentified militant was reportedly killed in "an encounter" with police commandos in the northeast Indian state of Manipur on July 23, the news created only a minor stir. One more death was hardly startling in an insurgency-ridden state where abductions, torture, extortion and killings by the police are routinely documented by human-rights activists. A week later, however, Tehelka, a prominent national weekly, published a series of photos of the events surrounding the supposed shoot-out. Chungkam Sanjit, a former militant, is shown standing unarmed, putting up no resistance as the commandos push him into a shop. Moments later, he is dragged out by his feet, dead, and dumped, oozing blood, into the back of a pickup.

Manipur immediately erupted into days of protests, until the state's ruling Congress-led government announced on Aug. 5 a judicial inquiry and suspended six cops implicated in the case. This followed an earlier incident in another troubled state, Kashmir, where police are suspected to have raped and killed a teenage girl and her pregnant sister-in-law, disposing of their bodies in a canal. It took a series of statewide protests and subsequent political intervention to get the police to step down from their initial claim that the women had just drowned. While the identity of the culprits is still not known, four police officials are now facing trial for failing to follow the correct investigative procedures and conspiring to destroy evidence. Their mishandling of the case appears to many in India as a symptom of a far greater rot.

The crisis in Indian policing is not restricted to the country's border states, and runs much deeper than the police's proclivity for "encounters." In an 118-page report, Broken System: Dysfunction, Abuse and Impunity in the Indian Police, released last week, Human Rights Watch has highlighted a range of corrupt practices by Indian police, including accepting bribes, arbitrarily arresting, detaining and torturing people, and carrying out extrajudicial killings. Indian police, it says, operate outside the law, lack requisite ethical and professional standards, and are overstretched and often outmatched by criminal elements. "India is modernizing rapidly, but the police continue to use their old methods — abuse and threats," says Brad Adams, Asia director at Human Rights Watch, in a statement released by the New York City-based NGO.
(Read "Rights Groups Probe India's Shoot-Out Cops.")

While this severe indictment may surprise some outside of India, it is routine fare for Indians — for whom tales of police corruption and heavy-handedness are legion. Police have been accused of demanding money to register cases or simply refusing to lodge complaints in order to keep crime statistics down. Suspects are often beaten up; some die in custody. In 2007, the National Human Rights Commission received more than 31,000 complaints of abuses at the hands of the police.

Critics of the Indian police system point out that the force continues to operate on the basis of the Police Act of 1861, which India's British colonial rulers had modeled after the Royal Irish Constabulary — a security force they had deployed to subdue a restive population. "[After] independence, the style never changed, the subject-ruler relation has endured," says Sanjay Patil, program officer with the Commonwealth Human Rights Initiative (CHRI), whose book Feudal Forces: Reform Delayed — Moving from Force to Service in South Asian Policing is due to be released next week. The book holds the political culture of South Asia responsible. Corruption and the lingering stigmas of class and caste in conservative South Asian societies also inform how police officers treat certain communities, it says, adding that minorities and the marginalized are especially vulnerable to police abuse.

In fairness, the Indian police often have to deal with abysmal working conditions, as the Human Rights Watch report points out: they cope with long hours and long periods of separation from families; often live in tents or filthy barracks at police stations; lack necessary equipment; and endure overwhelming workloads. India's police-population ratio is just 126 per 100,000 persons, whereas the ratio recommended by the UN for peacetime policing is almost double that. Hence, the temptation arises to take "short cuts" — such as arresting suspects illegally and forcing them to confess, instead of spending time collecting forensic evidence and recording witness statements. While calling on the government to better train, equip and pay the police, the report also suggests that any evidence obtained by using torture must be inadmissible in court, and independent investigations into complaints against the police must be strengthened.

The call for sweeping reform is nothing new. In 2006, a landmark Supreme Court judgment laid down a set of seven directives aimed at providing the police freedom from political interference, and mandated the government to create dedicated agencies to handle public complaints against the police and to regularly evaluate their performance. But the federal government and most of the state governments have either completely disregarded the court's order, or significantly diluted it. "The police [are] definitely a major stakeholder in change," says Patil of CHRI, "But they're not the only ones. The media has abdicated their responsibility of highlighting police excesses. And the force of public opinion must be brought to bear down on the political class, to make the cost of not reforming the police high enough to force them to act." If the anger over the Manipur and Kashmir cases is anything to go by, the force of public opinion is getting stronger. It remains to be seen whether the government will seize this opportunity to act decisively.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Guns N Mobiles!!

If the American band “Guns N Roses” were formed in Manipur, they would have named it as a “Guns N Mobiles”. If you don’t have a gun and a mobile in hand, you are no longer a Manipuri. Only thing which is left to see in Manipur is Commandos with their fancy Guns and Mobiles. Nothing else is left in home. People are crying and dying everyday, except those people who have a gun in hand legally or illegally can survive in today's Manipur. Common people have no guarantee for their lives. You are risk to kill anytime and anywhere. You have no identity in your own home.

After a year, I landed in my home town for a week to see my ailing grandma. My friend was waiting for to see me in the airport as we are not sure of meeting afterwards. Yeah, it was happened as we thought. We could not catch up again. The whole week was occupied by general strike,agitation and protest because of the fake encounter killing of Rabina and Sanjit in the busy market of Imphal. The scene of blood diamond flashed back in front of my eyes as soon as I saw the well dressed Commandos lined up in the airport to guard a daughter of an MLA who was boarded in the same flight. I was just praying to God to save me and my love ones from any encounter whether it is fake or real. Two days of general strike paralyzed the state like anything. Shops were shut down and the price of every item was sky high. The most affected ones were the women vegetable vendors in the market and those people who are depending on the day to day petty works in the market. They are almost in tears, thinking about what they would eat and feed their children. They are no more concerned about the killings, human rights, bandhs, JAC and any other agitations but worried for their day to day struggle to survive. Somewhere their thoughts are justified. They were talking each other what else we are going to get from the general strike, bandh, protest? It is only poor people who got affected, not the one who are involved in the killing, MLA, Officers, Doctors, Engineers, Contractors, rich people etc. After all, do we remember getting any kind of justice from this govt because of all these agitations, bandhs and general strikes?

After the general strike like a twin brother unlimited Curfew was announced in the state by our curfew government. It was really like a pain in the ash. Neither you can sit in peace nor can you stand on your feet. On the night time Meira paibis were gathered in the local club to join the mass Meira rally organized by Apunba Lup. I also went out to get a glimpse of their plan on the road. After 15 minutes 2-3 vehicles of Commandos were parked near our gate and all the meiras were burnt on the spot and they were shouting and warning to the Meira paibi’s if they dare to break the curfew. Then, it was followed by unlimited firing in the sky. Whole night I was sitting in my room and counting the gunshots and noise of the rubber bullets as I was so terrified and panic. Their tone and language was more terrific than the gunshots to me. I was asking to myself. Are they really humane? I still doubt they are!! I blamed the parents who gave birth to such animals who have no human character. Newspapers are filled with the photographs of beating the civilians coming on the road by the Cammandos. I was blessed to catch the real civil war this time. I woke up my mom saying that why there is so much of firing. My mom told me you go to sleep, everything is fine. It happens everyday and not new to us. Nothing will happen. I was surprised with her reaction; so, I woke her up again saying the same with an intense tone. But she gave me the same answer. Whole night I was haunted with my own imaginations and I kept on watching my brothers. Kept on thinking what will happen to them? Only advised I have given to them is that study hard so that you can leave the state as soon as you finish your twelve class. I know this is not the solution but I don’t have the courage to see them struggling to survive in such a place where there is no guarantee for life. I spent the week like a nightmare sitting in my room and counting the gunshots. I was choked with pain and anguish on seeing my brothers arguing to each other what might be the noise was? My brother told his friends that I’m very much aware of the sound; first one was a rubber bullet, it almost shook the ground; 2nd was a tear gas, then riffles and pistols. He continued with his best argument but I was almost sunk in a haunted imagination. I’m still terrified by the empty roads, smoke filled sky and the tears & pains in the eyes of every Manipuri. I don’t know whom to blame but I just pray to God to erase the noise of the gunshots from the memories of my little brothers and many like them.