Wednesday, December 14, 2016

The mission of making a good woman!

People are so worried about woman especially the bad woman who did not follow the norms! The woman who eats meat, who do not go to temple, wake up late, eat before husband are bad woman according to many people living around me. They do not like me because I don't cook for my husband, doesn't make tea in the morning.
One of such person is helper in our house. In many instances he tried to lecture me in good woman. Once he said eating meat is bad so I asked why but he said human become bad after eating. I didn't reply ignoring his stupidity. Then he extended his definition saying women should not eat. Mocktingly I rejected his argument and start cooking the delicious chicken curry. One Sunday morning he said he got Hanuman Chalisa. I said ok, then he said why I don't pray as he has seen only my husband praying. I got little pissed off and said which one you got! The Hanuman Chalisa read by the Ambanis or by the slum dwellers who lived next to his 27 floor building antila? He defended saying god is all one! I said it's not only one so you should bring me Ambani's Hanuman Chalisa then only I will read.
After few weeks when I came back office he was making roti and I was too hungry I just picked up one roti and some vegetable to eat. He was offended and said madam in our side women eats after husband so it's not good habit. In fact it's for your husband. That time my patience to tolerate him as substitute to my mother was over done. I said see aurat are stupid because they are made by man and so I can't help them. But I'm human who knows logic but not rules made by man. I eat because I'm hungry that's the logic, other aurat is nlt eating because she is stupid and has no courage to say what she wants. From that day he started showing his attitude in working in our home. I didn't try to bring peace, rather I ask him to complete his work before I get home as I don't want his advice after nine hours of nagging office and travelling for almost three hours every day.
Sad part is that every one think that they have a right to advice a woman on chapters of morality and good woman.
In my in laws place, some neighbours have big problem because I don't touch feet if each and every passing man and woman as part if their custom, women have problems because don't wear anything to symbolise my marriage. What I do feel for my husband, how much we respect and stood for each other is not part of anybody's moral lesson but why I'm not showing off to the wo is a bigger problem. Sometime ny husband got irritated because people keep on complaining about my carelessness and arrogance, as they said. But I explained saying what about those women with red bangles, long mangalchutra and big bindi, sindur and so on and sitting in a shady corner of a park with another man. Do they really symbolise their honesty, commitment just because they are walking as a symbolic piece to the institution called marriage! Do man and woman need to feel so insecure if one doesn't do something to let the world know about their relationship! When are we going to come out from trauma of Jash Raj institution of marriage and pump some fresh air in our life and relationship? 

Monday, December 12, 2016

Monumental Celebration of Nupi Lan and Hypocrisy!

So, Manipur women are very active in politics because we celebrate Nupi Lan every year beating the chilling winter of December. That's the statement of liberal society of Manipur which can't come out of feudal culture of glamorizing the women's role. On the contrary, they can still die for their notion of attaching culture in our clothe, our body. They have their right to censor the clothe, the man we should get married and at the worst they can not acknowledge the identity of the women without attaching her identity either to a father or husband,

There were many scholars, men and wannabe politicians who celebrated the ban of skirt in school and claiming that this will help the craftsman of the state and boost the economy! So nice to hear such explanation and it's such a pain to live in such a society where women are idolize but can't respect the individual choice of a woman. When it comes to active participation of women in distress politics of Manipur, how many woman has been involved in decision making, part from using them to shied bullets from Army, make them in sit front in protest. We should be able to identify the politics of using as puppets and active involvement. The mass and scholars are still rejoicing the puppet business of women's clothe and body. For now, they only claimed our clothes are flags of their tradition and culture but you never know by tomorrow they will start claiming that the body of meitei women are part of Manipuri culture. In fact it is already happening! Take the case of actor Kamala who married to a non-Manipuri was boycotted and did not allow to work again in the Manipuri films. But no civil body, organisation, scholars and individual of this liberal society which celebrated "Nupi Lan' question such public shaming of a woman and violation of an individual's right to make her choice. That's the mirror of our society which claimed its liberty statue somewhere near the Nambul river filled with dirt and plastic bottle.

Every kind of glamorization comes with huge price! One great example of victim of glamorization is the motherhood. Oh the creator, the mother who makes the home, the whole bullshit of sacrifice notion attached to it., the morality thread that goes along with the name till her graveyard. No mother could be a whore, except she should be able to burn in the fire to prove her sacred soul. This is the true reward of glamorizing an institution called mother. It comes with a heavy price, from generation to generation, most of the children remember their mothers are there to clean their poops, clean their dirty clothes, clean their plates from the table and not as a decision maker of the house. Yes, most of the children remember their mother for the comfort they sacrifice but not for her wit, intellect, politics, knowledge or individual. From all these dead end of glamorization benefits the opposite gender which still rules the world, lined themselves as intellectual, leaders and scholars shamelessly when their brain is size of a potato only. So in every society, there is such politics of celebrating the women, their role in politics in a man's world. There is nothing to be happy in Miss Manipur, Nupi Lan and so on celebration when individual choice are violated and chained forever.

Let's ban such nameshake celebration of women, women's day and Nupi Lan!