The only time where I can be only with myself is the night time. Whole day I keep running and I even forgot my own existence. But at the end of the day when the world falls asleep and when the night is already tired of its loneliness I remember myself and my own existence. That's the reason I always keep awake and be there to be with myself. The hope, dream, desire to live a life with full of freedom wake up suddenly when I'm with this lonely night. How special the nights I have so far spent in my life.....???
The day is not mine and I work for others but so far no one can still my precious moments and someone has missed something in their life if they miss to see the beauty of the dark, lonely nights which only awaits to meet a new day who is not so welcoming to her.
Everyday in the office I thought of writting this and that in my blog which is alternative diary for me. But could never do that. I just love writting diary since my school days. No one has ever teach me the how beautiful the nights are and its unseen dreams. But whatever I'm today its because of the beautiful nights which I spent with dreams full of star and hope.
What enejoy most in my life is that I'm blessed to witness every stages of the life ranging from the society where the civilsation falls no shadow to a place where civilisation cemented the human feelings and pains. Rememnber those days where I used to sit in the back of the cycle with my father and used to go the most beautiful lake Loktak Lake. Where me and my brother would go for boating and keep talking about the search of diamonds underneath the water. Every sparkling things were diamond for my cousin brother and he was so happy seeing them and use to lift them with a stick. How innocent life I used to live in those days. But I become far from myself since then I'm here and I started pursuing my dream in a land where you dream without hope.
What is the meaning of life when its purpose is just the substitute of toll tax payable with your hard earned life? Life is exciting when you take so many responsibilities and when you dream for a starry dream with your eyes wide open watching and counting the stars which could never in your life. Sometime Life is like aiming to meet this stars shinning to far which you could never meet in life. Dreams and hope only land you somewhere but You never met with the dream you actually see. I could never find an appropiate price I could afford to pay for living so far from my parents who has become so older day by day. Sometime I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night scarring with the thought that I'm staying 10 years away from my parents. How unfortunate I'm to miss every growing age of them and how could I miss something for so long which I could never see again.
Just waiting eagerly for October to come. I wanted mom and dad to be here with me at least for a month. For so long I'm missing their love and care. Life become really deserted when I could give no time to them. I wanted to live life again with all those nostalgic feelings in home.
Am I just dreaming of another hopeless dream?