Friday, August 16, 2013

Of a smile which never die!

When I get really tired and really surrender myself to my body, I simply wish everything around me looks as beautiful as his smiles! We don't talk, we don't communicate, but somehow I'm still hanging on every moments where he would pretend something from smiling and I would suddenly followed him with a crook smile without any reason. Life has given so many reasons to be worried, so many reasons to be defeated, many of them came to break me into pieces, left me with tears but somehow I have managed to reconcile myself to gather all the broken pieces at a place. And he came at a time when I was all conquered by fear of losing myself and leaving with nothing but every broken pieces of hateful memories. With him I learn nothing but to smile without a reason. May be that's the only thing I needed to learn at that time -just giving an effort to bring a smile on my face. I really could not find a reason to smile, everything lapses in front of me and everyone makes me feel I'm that loser and no one come and tell me where should I stop crying. I thought everything ends finally without leaving a hope of living on my own. Why was those bad days, why was those unfaithful people and why was those faithful tears, came together at one time only and tortured me, I still have answer for none.

Well, time changes everything, it's not like earlier I used to meet him everyday, had to rush for the day and catch up with him but still I try remembering his smile only. And simply there is no other reason of doing so, neither I wish to fall in love with him nor I'm dyeing without him, it just that his smile carries that magic, even by remembering him suddenly bring that moment where I learn smiling from him at those hard times. And I suddenly wish if he asked his usual question "why I'm laughing" just to excuse himself from smiling in front of everyone with or without reason known to everyone.

I know there is huge difference between us, a huge gap of ideology starting from the idea of nationalism, what he loved and what is he ready to fight for is something that can never be part of my ideology but best part is that we respect our own space and give due regard to that. I never cross my limit nor he does while he shows his affection to me without a dot of doubt and without any ill-feelings. Everyone accused me why did he give you more importance than us, why did he always agree if you ask him something and simply how come you know he does not take tea and he will be wearing a white shirt today! First time in my life,  my guess come true and I left everyone with a question mark. That was the fun part. But with due regard and respect to everyone's question, I will still rate him the best person, best human I have ever met, the one who do not hesitate to say what he feels is right, the one whose face for the first time I could see the human emotions. I was in love, in hate many a times but there I could never see any true emotions in one's face. Everyone of them looked so dull and fake. May be these are few things that pulled me sometime to walk alone in that lone corridors where I used to wait everyday of his coming and of his going till he walked beyond the fathom of my vision 

This memory has no end, it ties with nothingness, it bypassed the flying waves of time from it's attempt to erase what it acquired so hard. What we had was an unnamed love, affection, admiration, respect, a dignified relationship of comrades which seeks nothing but an unaffordable memory. A memory of two people who just love smiling across the empty corridors, across the crowd and sometime while seating alone and basking to a memory lane, without giving a reason, without answering anyone. 

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