Digging in the Mud and fighting with a pig!!

This is what I do every day & night alone with my own thought. I know I’m not worried about anything and nothing has been changed to me because of anything. My thought is irrevocable sometime but it also knows that change is a constant for me. I accepted now what I have seen. I believe to the facts which people have ever shown me to any kind of relationships. It is not worth breaking my precious heart for person(s) who had not played any role in my life. My friend was very right that I have to put a barrier between everything which I do and I can’t be so close and hopeful to everybody. Neither can I blame them too. I know he was quite tired listening to me from the past 2 years. Every night and day I had my complaint box full of complains to deliver to him. Step by step, he is the one who would listen and tell me to understand the people before I get hurt. I hardly listen to him and I know at end of the whole episode I had to bear the thunder from him. After seeing the whole mess I have created for myself, he had to use the harsh word ever to me. Because he knew that I won’t ever understand and come into the track if he doesn’t do that and I won’t ever force myself to change the path to the hell.

Yes, you are very right. I was just digging into the mud and getting dirty with my own fight with a pig i.e. my thought about the one I love and care for the past two years. Yeah, you said the right words, why should he care and why should he take me as a friend also? Did he ever committed and said to you that he is a good friend of you? Nope, of course not. He did not do that at all and I can’t claim anything I know. I have no right to ask that. But I also have my own reason of thinking so. I, at least demand for the minimum respect in front of you and the one who know both of us well. I don’t care to break any kind of relations with him before others but I could never forgive myself for the least unexpected disregard from him. Why would he need somebody’s assistance now to pass a message and to take comment on our friendship? I would never let it do by a 3rd person whoever they are and how close they are to me. It is simply an insult to me, and contempt to my self respect. What I’m and who I’m? I should be able to decide and why would you place me in front of others eyes and note the balance?

Yes, I had a hard time to come at this stage of life but I said no worry to myself again. It will pass soon. It is almost gone now with you and your thought. I will no longer bother you and even my own thought about you. It is the end I should tell to you and the rest. Whether you flirt with other women, whether you get the sadistic pleasure out of the pain I had gone through, I have nothing to do now. I will only wait for the moment in this lifetime when you learn the meaning of a relation of any kind and of your image in front of your own eyes if you are a person who is truthful to yourself. Forget the rest, how others see and think about you is what you show it to them, but not merely you. This is what I learn from you lately.

Identity Crisis!!

FRom the past 5 years my parents keep on narrating me on phone about the militants using Loktak as their shelter. My father would always discuss with me to sell off the property in the nearby places, as it may just become another hub for them and we might be in trouble someday. More than 3 years have passed, I had my promise of not to visit the Loktak Lake. When I was in school, I used to go every weekend with my cousin brother just to have fun. Brother was killed in an accident in Goa and after that I never look back to go there as I don’t want to feel the emptiness of his non-existence. I did not even go home as I was so scarred to see his death body and still I live with the thought that he still lives somewhere.

This time I took a break from everything and visit there with my cousin sisters. Things have been changed a lot. The Loktak Lake doesn’t look like a lake anymore. There was no visibility of migratory birds as we used to see 8 years back. It seems like even the wind stop blowing to refresh the tired soul of the farmers and fishermen. The change which I could only noticed was the strange noise of the gunshots spreading in the wide sky from the surrounding places. It might be from Thanga, Karang, Bishempur and Moirang side. The entire water surface was covered with marshy land and the water space was much narrower than what we used to see in decades back. My parents also told me about the burning of the crane which was sent to clean the Lake by the miscreants. No compliant at all, if people are too obsessed of destructing their own property! It is very much usual in Manipur to show their power by burning down the govt. property. Interestingly I have only option to see the Lake, to climb to a Gulmohar tree near the Lake and take a glimpse of its beauty. My cousin sister told me, this tree is used by militants to look for police/commandos coming from other side of the Loktak. I just said “wow” and that’s really great! We are replacing their position today and let’s see who came first today; the police or the militants?

I thought I’m gutsy enough to face anybody. So I was just having fun; sitting on the braches of the tree, eating fruits and taking photographs of the lake. After sometime, I heard somebody calling from far off. Suddenly I realized that I was the first one to jump off from the tree and running towards the road, putting my best effort to speed up where the vehicles were parked. After sometime one of the fisherman told me, don’t panic! Nobody will come here now. Everybody seems to be killed after the Operation Summer Storm and we are at peace working in the field now. I was bit relief. I don’t know why I was scarred of the place where I used to spend lots of time in my childhood. But now every face was strange to me and scary in my eyes. I imagine of guns & grenades in every person’s lubak, tungol which is meant for carrying fish. I remember my mother telling me long time back about the police checking in the Lubak or tungol of the fisherman/fisherwomen by the CRP, having a doubt of them acting as a transporter of the militants. I decided to leave the place as soon as possible as I could no longer stand the insecurity of my own life in my own home. I was just praying inside to pass the road of approx. 5 km long in a second and reach home safely. Finally, I got some space to sit in a Jeep loaded with more than 20 people. It was accommodated like a mini bus. I didn’t bother anymore as I wanted to reach home before the sunset. After all that’s the only transport system we have on that muddy road to the Loktak Lake. I can’t be choosy here for my space and comfort!!

But my mind was bit relaxed after sometime. I was so delighted to see the courage of the fisherwomen walking on the muddy road with a hugely load Lubak on their head. I was asking myself, can I even lift the Lubak on their head? It must be very heavy and seeing their face and their laughter give the courage to live life with full of joy. Their lives seem so simple and meaningful without any materialistic charm. I told myself who said that women are more beautiful with the glitters of the gold. It just shades their natural charm. I was just dreaming what if William Worthsworth was born here! He must have written more beautiful poem than the “Solitary reaper”; a poem more romantic and melancholic than the Solitary Reaper”, after seeing the face of the fisherwomen who are toiling day and night to survive amidst the indiscriminate spray of bullets and grenades. I hope not the solitary reaper was prettier than our own fisherwomen.

About to reach home, the Jeep driver asked me if I carry any Identity-card. I was surprised and answered him bit reluctantly; why should I need an I-card in the field? Who will come and check my I-card? You are not here for a long time so you hardly know what’s happening here in actual. It is more like you see in the English movie. From next time onwards, make sure to carry an I-card with you and he showed me his voter card. It’s your luck that you have not met the CRP or the police Commandos today in the field. They come here very often here to check for the passage of millitants through this road and if they happen to caught you then you have no option to prove your identity. Many questions were hurled in my mind; is it logical and justified morally, ethically to trouble the people who are toiling day and night to survive in this lake from the last 50 years? Isn’t it an insult and humiliation to the people inhibiting here by checking their I-card for every passage to the lake and leaving them only option to work amidst the bullets and the grenades?
I just pray God pay a visit and do the justice towards these farmers and fishermen. Give them the freedom to work without any fear of guns and bullets to this place where they were born and inhibited from the last 50-60 years. It is their birth right. You may choose another place for the battle which you are fighting for yourself. Let’s not kick in the stomach of these people who are already suffering from the hit of poverty and from both natural& man-made calamities. Either you kill them with the bullets or die of starvation; it won’t make any difference to them. They won’t make a JAC to stand against anybody. They don’t even know the meaning of JAC, politics, revolution, justice. Let them free from all these stuffs. They don’t bother about it as they don’t know the meaning and have no time to think about your petty politics. They have thier own battle to feed their children and family. They only know how to count on the dead bodies killed by the foreign made guns and bullets. All of them are illiterate, they have no idea of the sign civilisation which you showed with your guns/granades. They are still surviving with the simplest way of earning without anybody’s assistance. Give them an option to live or die. Remember again, it is their birth right!!

Let's speak up for our deprived Rights!!

Let's speak up for the rights which are deprived from us. No one will come and rescue us while we dig on the hell and live a life like a prisoner. Let's demand for the our rights to life, rights to fredom, dignity to live in this world.

... It's not about just obeying and following the Constitution or any law/lagislature. But it is the right which is given only to me/us by a greater Devine before the constitution, the legislature, the UN exist or form on this earth to run and rule our lives. Nobody has a monopoly right to deprive us from living freely. We have to fight against them irrespective of the legitimate or illegitimate rights empowered to them to kill us and torture in the way they feel like. We should not be tolerant to such day to day attocities and it is the time that we show our resistant to such fools who are sucking our blood and torture our soul everyday.

It is a high time that we question the human rights activists to leave the state and not to sell our rights to live, our right to survive while they are roaming the world for their personal benefits/name/fame etc. Let's not give more importance to such namesake NGO's and activism anymore. Let's not give them the chance to burgain our dead body to the govt. Why would we let them speak about our right to live, when they are using us for a cause to earn profit. How many human rights activist have ever come forward to save any life in Manipur. Why are we just count on the mushrooming of human rights activist in Manipur? It's a big question we should put on them. Because it is just a good business to a killing field like Manipur where the whole system is paralysed and you have only one way to increase the steps of your buiding; that's to become a human Rights activist. You should know how to promote your business, that's killing the people by internal and external politics. you should know how to deal the dead body with the govt for the ex-gratia from that they will earn the percentage of their share. whatever it may cost. Another term of human rights activist is business of selling human whether dead or alive. We should stop them from earning easy money out the bloodshed.


We should wake up from the long seista before the time is not too late and let's not wait for the day where we won't be left with nothing to recover in our hand.

Uncertainty!!

Walking on a path less known,
Believing to a truth not acceptable,
Forgetting a person more close than my soul,
This is where I arrive,
The land which is uncertain,
Uncertainty which lies beyond my understanding,
Uncertainty beyond my reach,
The path I would walk again
Its uncertain to me,
Unknown and unacceptable,
Where I lost the trust,
Where I can’t think beyond you!
Another uncertainty ,
Waiting for me in the path ahead!
It may wrap what it wants
Without bothering me,
But I have no choice to deny it,
I have to move on,
Until I reach to touch
And walk upon another uncertainty.

Whose Independence is this???

Picture courtesy: Chaoba Phuritshabam


When the whole country celebrate the Independence Day, our lives are still filled with fear, anguish,pain and tear. Whose Independence is this anyway? Why would I like to call that I'm an Indian? I feel ashamed of calling myself to be citizen of this country who put our lives in hell.

Reading the constitutional articles torture me everyday. Where is articel 14,15, 21...so on for us? When our lives are thrown into hell and we live with the fear of dying every moment, where is my independence? Every moment I'm afraid of the safty of my brother, father, mother, sister, how can I live in peace. Neither I can live to the place where I was born nor I can leave even though it is a hell.

I'm left with only one option to fight to live in this hell.

Can India Reform Its Wayward Police Force?

http://www.time. com/time/ world/article/ 0,8599,1915509, 00.html


By Madhur Singh / New Delhi

Manipur state police commandos announce resumption of curfew after a relaxation period of four hours expired in Imphal, India, Aug. 6, 2009.

When an unidentified militant was reportedly killed in "an encounter" with police commandos in the northeast Indian state of Manipur on July 23, the news created only a minor stir. One more death was hardly startling in an insurgency-ridden state where abductions, torture, extortion and killings by the police are routinely documented by human-rights activists. A week later, however, Tehelka, a prominent national weekly, published a series of photos of the events surrounding the supposed shoot-out. Chungkam Sanjit, a former militant, is shown standing unarmed, putting up no resistance as the commandos push him into a shop. Moments later, he is dragged out by his feet, dead, and dumped, oozing blood, into the back of a pickup.

Manipur immediately erupted into days of protests, until the state's ruling Congress-led government announced on Aug. 5 a judicial inquiry and suspended six cops implicated in the case. This followed an earlier incident in another troubled state, Kashmir, where police are suspected to have raped and killed a teenage girl and her pregnant sister-in-law, disposing of their bodies in a canal. It took a series of statewide protests and subsequent political intervention to get the police to step down from their initial claim that the women had just drowned. While the identity of the culprits is still not known, four police officials are now facing trial for failing to follow the correct investigative procedures and conspiring to destroy evidence. Their mishandling of the case appears to many in India as a symptom of a far greater rot.

The crisis in Indian policing is not restricted to the country's border states, and runs much deeper than the police's proclivity for "encounters." In an 118-page report, Broken System: Dysfunction, Abuse and Impunity in the Indian Police, released last week, Human Rights Watch has highlighted a range of corrupt practices by Indian police, including accepting bribes, arbitrarily arresting, detaining and torturing people, and carrying out extrajudicial killings. Indian police, it says, operate outside the law, lack requisite ethical and professional standards, and are overstretched and often outmatched by criminal elements. "India is modernizing rapidly, but the police continue to use their old methods — abuse and threats," says Brad Adams, Asia director at Human Rights Watch, in a statement released by the New York City-based NGO.
(Read "Rights Groups Probe India's Shoot-Out Cops.")

While this severe indictment may surprise some outside of India, it is routine fare for Indians — for whom tales of police corruption and heavy-handedness are legion. Police have been accused of demanding money to register cases or simply refusing to lodge complaints in order to keep crime statistics down. Suspects are often beaten up; some die in custody. In 2007, the National Human Rights Commission received more than 31,000 complaints of abuses at the hands of the police.

Critics of the Indian police system point out that the force continues to operate on the basis of the Police Act of 1861, which India's British colonial rulers had modeled after the Royal Irish Constabulary — a security force they had deployed to subdue a restive population. "[After] independence, the style never changed, the subject-ruler relation has endured," says Sanjay Patil, program officer with the Commonwealth Human Rights Initiative (CHRI), whose book Feudal Forces: Reform Delayed — Moving from Force to Service in South Asian Policing is due to be released next week. The book holds the political culture of South Asia responsible. Corruption and the lingering stigmas of class and caste in conservative South Asian societies also inform how police officers treat certain communities, it says, adding that minorities and the marginalized are especially vulnerable to police abuse.

In fairness, the Indian police often have to deal with abysmal working conditions, as the Human Rights Watch report points out: they cope with long hours and long periods of separation from families; often live in tents or filthy barracks at police stations; lack necessary equipment; and endure overwhelming workloads. India's police-population ratio is just 126 per 100,000 persons, whereas the ratio recommended by the UN for peacetime policing is almost double that. Hence, the temptation arises to take "short cuts" — such as arresting suspects illegally and forcing them to confess, instead of spending time collecting forensic evidence and recording witness statements. While calling on the government to better train, equip and pay the police, the report also suggests that any evidence obtained by using torture must be inadmissible in court, and independent investigations into complaints against the police must be strengthened.

The call for sweeping reform is nothing new. In 2006, a landmark Supreme Court judgment laid down a set of seven directives aimed at providing the police freedom from political interference, and mandated the government to create dedicated agencies to handle public complaints against the police and to regularly evaluate their performance. But the federal government and most of the state governments have either completely disregarded the court's order, or significantly diluted it. "The police [are] definitely a major stakeholder in change," says Patil of CHRI, "But they're not the only ones. The media has abdicated their responsibility of highlighting police excesses. And the force of public opinion must be brought to bear down on the political class, to make the cost of not reforming the police high enough to force them to act." If the anger over the Manipur and Kashmir cases is anything to go by, the force of public opinion is getting stronger. It remains to be seen whether the government will seize this opportunity to act decisively.

Guns N Mobiles!!

If the American band “Guns N Roses” were formed in Manipur, they would have named it as a “Guns N Mobiles”. If you don’t have a gun and a mobile in hand, you are no longer a Manipuri. Only thing which is left to see in Manipur is Commandos with their fancy Guns and Mobiles. Nothing else is left in home. People are crying and dying everyday, except those people who have a gun in hand legally or illegally can survive in today's Manipur. Common people have no guarantee for their lives. You are risk to kill anytime and anywhere. You have no identity in your own home.

After a year, I landed in my home town for a week to see my ailing grandma. My friend was waiting for to see me in the airport as we are not sure of meeting afterwards. Yeah, it was happened as we thought. We could not catch up again. The whole week was occupied by general strike,agitation and protest because of the fake encounter killing of Rabina and Sanjit in the busy market of Imphal. The scene of blood diamond flashed back in front of my eyes as soon as I saw the well dressed Commandos lined up in the airport to guard a daughter of an MLA who was boarded in the same flight. I was just praying to God to save me and my love ones from any encounter whether it is fake or real. Two days of general strike paralyzed the state like anything. Shops were shut down and the price of every item was sky high. The most affected ones were the women vegetable vendors in the market and those people who are depending on the day to day petty works in the market. They are almost in tears, thinking about what they would eat and feed their children. They are no more concerned about the killings, human rights, bandhs, JAC and any other agitations but worried for their day to day struggle to survive. Somewhere their thoughts are justified. They were talking each other what else we are going to get from the general strike, bandh, protest? It is only poor people who got affected, not the one who are involved in the killing, MLA, Officers, Doctors, Engineers, Contractors, rich people etc. After all, do we remember getting any kind of justice from this govt because of all these agitations, bandhs and general strikes?

After the general strike like a twin brother unlimited Curfew was announced in the state by our curfew government. It was really like a pain in the ash. Neither you can sit in peace nor can you stand on your feet. On the night time Meira paibis were gathered in the local club to join the mass Meira rally organized by Apunba Lup. I also went out to get a glimpse of their plan on the road. After 15 minutes 2-3 vehicles of Commandos were parked near our gate and all the meiras were burnt on the spot and they were shouting and warning to the Meira paibi’s if they dare to break the curfew. Then, it was followed by unlimited firing in the sky. Whole night I was sitting in my room and counting the gunshots and noise of the rubber bullets as I was so terrified and panic. Their tone and language was more terrific than the gunshots to me. I was asking to myself. Are they really humane? I still doubt they are!! I blamed the parents who gave birth to such animals who have no human character. Newspapers are filled with the photographs of beating the civilians coming on the road by the Cammandos. I was blessed to catch the real civil war this time. I woke up my mom saying that why there is so much of firing. My mom told me you go to sleep, everything is fine. It happens everyday and not new to us. Nothing will happen. I was surprised with her reaction; so, I woke her up again saying the same with an intense tone. But she gave me the same answer. Whole night I was haunted with my own imaginations and I kept on watching my brothers. Kept on thinking what will happen to them? Only advised I have given to them is that study hard so that you can leave the state as soon as you finish your twelve class. I know this is not the solution but I don’t have the courage to see them struggling to survive in such a place where there is no guarantee for life. I spent the week like a nightmare sitting in my room and counting the gunshots. I was choked with pain and anguish on seeing my brothers arguing to each other what might be the noise was? My brother told his friends that I’m very much aware of the sound; first one was a rubber bullet, it almost shook the ground; 2nd was a tear gas, then riffles and pistols. He continued with his best argument but I was almost sunk in a haunted imagination. I’m still terrified by the empty roads, smoke filled sky and the tears & pains in the eyes of every Manipuri. I don’t know whom to blame but I just pray to God to erase the noise of the gunshots from the memories of my little brothers and many like them.