Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Life runs after meh!!

….Life rides like a bus in the national highway 39 & 53 sometime…losing balance in a well tormented road and unwanted and unnoticed of my own life sometime!! Life is always at high risk!!

I have stop living life from few years but life itself trying hard to get a space to me. I feel sorry that I could not give a proper place to this life following me here and there…Sometime “Aal is not welll”., its more like Aal is wrong. Suffered enough from anxiety, distress because of pms and I’m also trying hard to mend my idiot heart which wastes so much of time of my busy schedule. I thought the last Saturday would be my last day on this beautiful earth. While I’m struggling hard to balance my multi-tasking role in life, anxiety and distress sometime almost killed me. Tension of office, tension of class, then family and many others. Sometime I asked God, I hope you are having fun watching me? I’m not tired man, continue your job. He seems to be having fun watching me standing numb in a luxurious temple. I wish he could at least give me some other option to exit from all this and let me live my life. Heard enough comments from my close friend and well wishers about my short & volatile temper and asked me to mend it down but how?? Still a big question for me as I have no time for being so nice and caring for all the people come across in my way. I also want to have patience to listening someone and some issues only if God permits me with some more time and grant me some other ways. As anxiety take toll over me I have started remembering all those stupid things I did and of course it also flashed back the stories which are gone with the wind from my life. Could not help much this time as I’m already too full with so many things in my head and heart. It has reached to a time to wipe them out from my mind.

Going to my law class at least feel me that I'm surviving and that's where I open my eyes when the world is almost too dark...!!

Finally my exam result came out and out of expectation my score was much better than I expected. I thank to some of my friends who took care of me day and night during my exam time when some of the lively monsters had almost eaten my head even after knowing about my exam. Its only this time I realised how monstrous people can be while its their insecurity made them to do so.

Suffering from bad cold and fever from few days but had to go for class as I missed all the classes in Jan. Happiness is the best medicine in life...I finally realised yesterday. Was just cooking in the kitchen after eating antibiotics and huge dose of corex my friend just called me up and told me about my result. I felt like I was not ill at all...

Another miracle of arrived on my way yesterday!!

That's the Ukabi atouba and Tharoi angouba my mother sent for me from home through a friend. I was so excited as my mother didn't tell me about these stuffs sending me.It seems like my mother listen to my prayers and worries of living in this big city. The smell of Ukabi and taste of tharoi brings back the lost scent of my home and my motherland. My mother saved me from being insane in this city filled with madness. Missing home and I'm enjoying this feeling of missing my mother every single moments of my life!!!

2 comments:

  1. just happened to stumble upon your blog... Life is never too easy, never a bed of roses but like a roller-coaster ride : it has it's ups and downs!!

    Keep fighting! keep the spirit up - what you are looking could be just round the corner!!

    ReplyDelete