The mission of making a good woman!

People are so worried about woman especially the bad woman who did not follow the norms! The woman who eats meat, who do not go to temple, wake up late, eat before husband are bad woman according to many people living around me. They do not like me because I don't cook for my husband, doesn't make tea in the morning.
One of such person is helper in our house. In many instances he tried to lecture me in good woman. Once he said eating meat is bad so I asked why but he said human become bad after eating. I didn't reply ignoring his stupidity. Then he extended his definition saying women should not eat. Mocktingly I rejected his argument and start cooking the delicious chicken curry. One Sunday morning he said he got Hanuman Chalisa. I said ok, then he said why I don't pray as he has seen only my husband praying. I got little pissed off and said which one you got! The Hanuman Chalisa read by the Ambanis or by the slum dwellers who lived next to his 27 floor building antila? He defended saying god is all one! I said it's not only one so you should bring me Ambani's Hanuman Chalisa then only I will read.
After few weeks when I came back office he was making roti and I was too hungry I just picked up one roti and some vegetable to eat. He was offended and said madam in our side women eats after husband so it's not good habit. In fact it's for your husband. That time my patience to tolerate him as substitute to my mother was over done. I said see aurat are stupid because they are made by man and so I can't help them. But I'm human who knows logic but not rules made by man. I eat because I'm hungry that's the logic, other aurat is nlt eating because she is stupid and has no courage to say what she wants. From that day he started showing his attitude in working in our home. I didn't try to bring peace, rather I ask him to complete his work before I get home as I don't want his advice after nine hours of nagging office and travelling for almost three hours every day.
Sad part is that every one think that they have a right to advice a woman on chapters of morality and good woman.
In my in laws place, some neighbours have big problem because I don't touch feet if each and every passing man and woman as part if their custom, women have problems because don't wear anything to symbolise my marriage. What I do feel for my husband, how much we respect and stood for each other is not part of anybody's moral lesson but why I'm not showing off to the wo is a bigger problem. Sometime ny husband got irritated because people keep on complaining about my carelessness and arrogance, as they said. But I explained saying what about those women with red bangles, long mangalchutra and big bindi, sindur and so on and sitting in a shady corner of a park with another man. Do they really symbolise their honesty, commitment just because they are walking as a symbolic piece to the institution called marriage! Do man and woman need to feel so insecure if one doesn't do something to let the world know about their relationship! When are we going to come out from trauma of Jash Raj institution of marriage and pump some fresh air in our life and relationship? 

Monumental Celebration of Nupi Lan and Hypocrisy!

So, Manipur women are very active in politics because we celebrate Nupi Lan every year beating the chilling winter of December. That's the statement of liberal society of Manipur which can't come out of feudal culture of glamorizing the women's role. On the contrary, they can still die for their notion of attaching culture in our clothe, our body. They have their right to censor the clothe, the man we should get married and at the worst they can not acknowledge the identity of the women without attaching her identity either to a father or husband,

There were many scholars, men and wannabe politicians who celebrated the ban of skirt in school and claiming that this will help the craftsman of the state and boost the economy! So nice to hear such explanation and it's such a pain to live in such a society where women are idolize but can't respect the individual choice of a woman. When it comes to active participation of women in distress politics of Manipur, how many woman has been involved in decision making, part from using them to shied bullets from Army, make them in sit front in protest. We should be able to identify the politics of using as puppets and active involvement. The mass and scholars are still rejoicing the puppet business of women's clothe and body. For now, they only claimed our clothes are flags of their tradition and culture but you never know by tomorrow they will start claiming that the body of meitei women are part of Manipuri culture. In fact it is already happening! Take the case of actor Kamala who married to a non-Manipuri was boycotted and did not allow to work again in the Manipuri films. But no civil body, organisation, scholars and individual of this liberal society which celebrated "Nupi Lan' question such public shaming of a woman and violation of an individual's right to make her choice. That's the mirror of our society which claimed its liberty statue somewhere near the Nambul river filled with dirt and plastic bottle.

Every kind of glamorization comes with huge price! One great example of victim of glamorization is the motherhood. Oh the creator, the mother who makes the home, the whole bullshit of sacrifice notion attached to it., the morality thread that goes along with the name till her graveyard. No mother could be a whore, except she should be able to burn in the fire to prove her sacred soul. This is the true reward of glamorizing an institution called mother. It comes with a heavy price, from generation to generation, most of the children remember their mothers are there to clean their poops, clean their dirty clothes, clean their plates from the table and not as a decision maker of the house. Yes, most of the children remember their mother for the comfort they sacrifice but not for her wit, intellect, politics, knowledge or individual. From all these dead end of glamorization benefits the opposite gender which still rules the world, lined themselves as intellectual, leaders and scholars shamelessly when their brain is size of a potato only. So in every society, there is such politics of celebrating the women, their role in politics in a man's world. There is nothing to be happy in Miss Manipur, Nupi Lan and so on celebration when individual choice are violated and chained forever.

Let's ban such nameshake celebration of women, women's day and Nupi Lan!

Khudie hangampal scholars !!

Khudie hangampal scholars are generic group of patriots that one can club to those of saffron party who openly abuses anyone whose opinion are different. We so called well educated Manipuri shared a small population to discuss or understand a burning home. Everyone loved their state or country. Anyone can have different opinion. But there is always a way of how a person deal with different opinions.

But there is extraordinary trait in both saffron party and khudie hangampal party flying directly from those invisible space of social networking. Common dialogue used by saffron party are :

1. You are anti national, you support terrorist

2. Our soldiers die in the borders 

3. Leave Bharat so you should leave in Pakistan

4. If you happen to be a woman then abuses start from our mother. Your mother must be  so and so. In the next level you are threatened for rape. That's their way to love their country. 

Well done to the country lovers. The notion of nation starts from series of crime scene created in our mind. 

Now let's draw similar trait in our own state scholars who are happily living in scholarship till 40 years of their life and criticising the economy of country. What they forgot is that there is life beyond scholarship they get for unlimited years of phd, m.phil. God knows what they studied but they knows well how to show intellectual superiority in the social network by selling "f***" word. Oh they don't know anything so they should "f**** off". Oh they are "f**"** the anti colonial struggle. They should better learn wrestling than wasting money for a government as they have no common sense that everyone has right to speak about their own state or country. Well, let's accept the fact that I don't know anything or somebody doesn't pinch of what the f*** is going on in Manipur, then you just provide one answer that they are just f****. 

So if one' half the life of education is all about how can you easily use abusive language, then he just show his retarded mindset. Many you could find everywhere in Facebook, Twitter. Oh well feminist , f*** it, how can they think there could be such topic when we are so concerned with saving our broken economy by forcing women to wear phanek in the school and college. You know we believe in woman empowerment. See ema keithel where ypu can find women only sell vegetables, fruits or sometimes their life and body to give a luxury life to husband and family. That's the only women market in imphal. Our meira paibi are so powerful they can stop bullets punching our body, that's women empowerment. But you can't trust them to take any decision, you know women are meant to make home so they don't understand politics, they are illiterate. That's how khudie hangampal patriots comes in Manipur politics. Women should be submissive, dumb and should not speak. If they do, you can open fire so many flying f*** you learned from most famous university in India or world. 

There is a bigger issue to fight but women then why all these khudie hangampal hide behind their keyboard and what imagination they have mapped in their mind that only women should be a protestors. There could be difference in opinion between man and woman, woman and woman also, but what these groups of scholars failed to learn is respect of difference. They feel that women are piece of joke, they are so intelligent but less they forget that they are brought to this world by a woman unfortunately. 

Best way to deal with such half baked , rotten mind who desperately seek brain orgasm by abusing others is to leave them in their own stand. If you are in the mood to engage to check their intellectual growth, you can find time after a decade also. They all would be doing the same business. They read all those books which people can't read or even heard of names so that they can thrash and abuse people. They forgot to come out of high profile books they read, probably they failed to understand human outside the books. You can be pity, pour your blessings but you can't have human conversation with them.

One's own room

Living alone in one's room, living a life of my wishes, touring the world with the girls of great mind but never to fall in the trap of family, society, men, tradition, culture..are all I have dream and the push behind the crazy thoughts to become an independent woman who would not fear of anything in life, not even those men in uniforms guarding their country in the darkness who never hesitate to frisk our bag before the dawn.

This little feet have walked a life of millions, met many monsters and still survive. Life always has a different plan, somehow I end up in a whirlpool of family circus, relationship and my struggle to come out of all was way difficult than those war-field. Nevertheless, I will not stop fighting to earn a room of my own, where I will not hesitate of anyone, I will not beg in front of anyone fearing hurting someone I love, I will love only those whom I heart , yes I do not need to keep dreaming of saying so many things to you. 

You would come someday in a room of my own, where there won't be a world of peeping eyes, we would be all alone. There will not be any disturbance from the whistle of the mothers who kept you away from your love. All those milestones were too hard but no struggle was comparable for a woman who dream to sing alone, dance in the rain, walk in the forest in a moonlit night and say the truth in her heart. Everyone hates you for speaking your mind except few could love unconditionally and stand forever. Far away there are lives who sleeps in your lullaby, he keeps you close in his heart until you wake him up from his solitude.

Journey

I could only sense the moving train
taking me miles away from him
I was at his arms , not in real but in dream, imagination and in my dead
Love was so deep, so brutal at the first sight
I recall even the single pores in his hand
Those hands softly adjusting his sophisticated watch
why everything was so beautiful and insane when he was around
Love was like a superstition, non-existent but still fear the lost
You pray, try to grasp it
Sadly gone too fast beyond my control
Tears were ugly, painful
though it was a need for survival
a way to breath out the brutal air in the lungs
So as time flies, wounds are healed
we move on
he is a different man, so as I'm
some scars disappear, some reappear in every monsoon

Imprisonment!!

Living in prison of other kind within the four walls of transparent thick glass where humans are caged for nine hours. 

Here everything is scrutinized- temperature, talk, rules, policies and not to forget sexiest jokes greet us in the morning to bring a laughter. How sad it is that we have nothing to laugh at life apart from some dirty bedroom jokes by some frustrated soul.They called it liberalism, see how free women and men are, they can talk about their bedroom dirty secrets as an entertaining script.

It's more than a death sentence given to a criminal and you get this punishment after getting highest degree from highest rated university of this country. What a loser we have become at this capitalist world! You are trapped so as I'm. For how long one can be alive with such death sentence, how can one laugh with their heart when they are just living death.  
I missed the life in my village. Running in the field, catching fish in the rainy season, living without a dream but a life filled with laughter and love. The faces of those in village just become a memory, seems like everything is erased and screened from my head, I missed listening to the midnight songs of drunkard uncles in the neighboring road. They are more than a poet to me, their songs are so meaningful though no music to it. Some cry about their wife, some for lost lover and some are rebellious, against the meira paibi who spends the night in the village hut in a roadside chewing tobacco but shouting slogans against the drunkard.

The misery of this luxurious life in Delhi took away every memories of a childhood, it has stolen my innocence, crush this heart which only knows the colour of blue sky and green field. The evening falls with the noise of crows, devils and loud honking of desperate Delhite. Sadly,even the midnight moon no longer bring back the memories of lost lovers.

Living in this prison of other kind is like a guinea pig in the laboratory of a mad scientists, testing his medicine on us to make human like a robot..emotionless, voiceless and death!!!

Ode to all my dying dreams!

I wish I could bury my dreams
I wish I could envelope all of them
Wrap them layer by layer
Saved myself from burning me
From turning me into ashes

I feel soul-less all the time
I was wrong of existence of my own
When I'm only asked to kill every dream of my own

Everything is dying
The dreams, the hope
Love, loneliness,  midnight blue
Every moments which awaken my soul

Everything is dying slowly
With or without my consent

Some,I killed with my own hands
Some, killed by each of one of them
Killed by so called love
So called love
So selfish
So lifeless
Bloodless