Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Yes, I’m different. I’m a brave lady in your eyes. I have so many things in my life except you.

It’s also true that I can stand on my own. Even the sky falls over me, I shall not stop being myself. Your brave lady!!
She cried......
I’m not used to live without having him around me. I thought time will come and I will feel that it’s the time to move on. But how far I’m able to move on?

He went away with so many promises left behind without fulfilling it. He owns a wife now, he is a good son in his parent’s eyes and he is a father from his unwanted wife.
How would you justify me that you love me so much an you can’t live without me? My mistake lies with my perception being so liberal and living with my dream man. But he was someone who couldn’t understand himself. He is among that man who sadly can’t recognize his own feelings.

With an excuse of caste and religion he left me so easily. With such an easy excuse of fulfilling his parents dream he forgot to feel the nerves running in my body.

Have been years I never tend to involve and move ahead with another someone special. Life does not end here. I know I don’t wish anybody teaching me but what I’m looking now is just to recover from this phase of life.
Suddenly yesterday I was getting ready to go for office I found his ties left in my room. Suddenly in the back of my mind flash back that day I bought this tie for him for his promotion. I thought I sun will never set for us and will not leave me alone in the darkness. I dream that the romance will continue till I’m death. Now I have to live like a living death body. Dying for every moment and seconds makes me so tired of this life.

My landline numbers suddenly ring.

The heavy voice on the other side of the phone seems to be quite known to me. In fact his voice shattered my world suddenly. I could not hear his voice from last one year.

I don't know what he wanted from me now? Something left with me??
He said “I’m here in Delhi”. Can we meet for the last time?

I didn’t speak anything. The tears just roll down. I just replied “would you still call me a brave lady and I can face any situation?”

He didn’t answer. We hold the phone for some minutes. He keep saying “hello” in another end of the phone then I hang the phone repeating his words “I’m a brave lady and I should face every situation”.

While driving down the busy roads of Delhi, my mind keeps thinking of the woman whom he got married. For whom he has to abandon me emotionally and physically. How lucky she must be getting so much of love from her in-laws and her husband. Why I’m feeling so cheated when I know that nothing was wrong on my part. Though it was him.

On the side mirror of my car I was looking at myself. My eyes were swelling so I was trying to cover up with the thick dose of the eye-liner. Whatever you are and how sad your life is, office is not the place you should show your personal life. Learn with the past experience I try to own a lost smile and enter my department.

Just after I enter my office, I don’t know where I’m and I forgot now what should not do in the office.

Oh! Unbelieveble! This should not happen to me today! I have some important cleints to meet up today! Saying this I just rush to my cabin without noticing what's happening around.

My colleagues and seniors are congratulating him for his marriage and his new found baby. Suddenly I remember those days I would insist to sit near his system in the name of working and tease him whole day. How much he got annoyed with my unpredictable temper and tantrums.

His suddenly left me so numb.

Neither I cry nor do I say a word. Just sitting in my cabin and trying to hide my lost state in fronts of my colleagues. I don’t know how I should react now. Everybody in the office made so many stories about us is created when we were together and after he left to get married with another woman. Now I have to face another story of his sudden visit to my office. I don’t know which is more painful?

his sudden appearance with a gloomy face or the pinching stories of the onlooker? Both I have to suffer since he has already escape from such questions. Questions and lies are only thing he has left with me for the love he has owed.
When I’m already lost in my thought he suddenly peep through my cabin and said “may I come in….. “

No comments:

Post a Comment