I heard many educated, liberal, well dressed and westernized women often saying such dumb statement ! I'm not a feminist but I want to connect with women! So it is like I'm not dumb but I'm not wise either.
What kind of women they are quoting in their famous statement? Why do they need to connect when the reliance Jio is already in free service. Was it for building a museum? A rare species museum to keep woman who wants to fight for equality but ashamed of being a feminist?
Who are feminist according to such women? Options please:
1. Feminist are men eaters or haters?
2. Those who file petition to free women from kitchen and demand for men to work in kitchen
3. Those ugly cotton kurta adorned women who took off their bra and threaten to walk bare chest ?
4. Those who wants to wipe off men species from earth?
I'm guessing if these are some of the frightening thoughts which make them uncomfortable and refrain from coming out as feminist. When they are so afraid of calling themselves as feminist then what kind of equality they are referring in their fancy sweet talks? Feminism is all about equality whether it is men or women, it benefits both the gender and it is never about kicking out one gender to replace another. Some serious thought please? In fact, we are tired of dumb literate women who still lived in illusion and make foolish statement.
I have met wonderful women in my life who challenged their family, society, husband and everyone who come in their way to live a life in their terms. They break taboos by challenging in different ways and live without obeying the patriarchal norms against them. These women are feminist for me but they are the true winner. Even for living in a space of our own without fear of time, intimation, shame and ownership by others we need to fight and raise our voice. Nothing was for free when it comes to basic rights of women. Whatever we got today, some countable rights to survive with dignity is because of those women who fought for us. Because of their fight for right to property, right to vote, right to marry a man or woman of their choice and right to even give name to a child they carry in their womb for nine months. Equality is not just a trophy you are rewarded after a wresting fight with a opposite gender. It's the result of blood, sweat, tears and sacrifices of many feminist in every generation. So, let's not ridicule their contribution in our life by insulting one's stand to be a feminist.
It requires courage, determination and guts to stand up against those who are threaten to the freedom to be a women. Women had fight against the churches, temples, mosques, fathers, brothers, khaps, millitants and many others to claim their right. They are the one who bring us the trophy of equality. Virginia Wolf argue about what if Shakespeare had a sister? Would her parents gave her the time to dream, read books, write poetry and walk in the woods? She will be as famous as Shakespeare or will you just conclude that women's place is in the kitchen! So she can never be female Shakespeare. Women even have to fight to own a room of her own till today. Before marriage she will be sharing her rooms with her sisters or mother, after marriage with husband and child. Where was the time women would dream of stories, poetry, wilderness and write their thought under a tree. You can your finger who walk in the midnight in the middle of the night in a wood to witness the beauty of the moon. Our thought, dream, choices are confined within circumferences drawn by our society.
During my LLB, I read one of the jurisprudence article written by Indra Jai Singh on selection procedure of the highest court of India-Supreme court. She argue that the law itself is against the women as it is made for conveniences of women and there can never a fair judgement passed by a panel of judges where the gender ratio itself is unequal. You can't ask about making law on the mensuration cramp leave when men can't understand really feel what pain women goes through during menstruation . This is as simple as that pain of menstruation women can only feel. The men boss in the corporate elite offices jokes about women being a problem. Oh here she is! She has so many problem, sometime menstruation , sometime cramp and sometime pregnancy. And you need a jaw breaking feminist to challenge such environment, not just a equality statement!
It's so fancy to use the word equality without a due respect to generations of women who sacrificed their life for our basic right to step out, breath freely and enjoy a life we lived today. Simply using statement like " I'm not a feminist but I want to connect with women, I want equality is just showing one degree of dumbness."
There can not be equality if one is so desperate of mercy from a superior gender! Equality is a joke when you are still seeking approval from the men who subjugated women for century. You can't sing of mothers sacrifice and at the same time criticize another women for having her freedom. You can not connect a women until and unless you know what feminist do and what they fight for? One can be only in one side. You can't praise the patriarchal system and afraid of walking out from your your comfort zone and still claim for equality. You can be either a slave or a ruler but not both!
There is nothing like slave ruler so there can't be a women who wants equality but do not wish to be a feminist! Let the chapter of feminist rest in its comfort zone! Peace!
