Saturday, July 31, 2010

Is Femenism contradicting Motherhood??

“Feminism refers to political, cultural, and economic movements aimed at establishing greater rights, legal protection for women, and/or women's liberation. Feminism includes some of the sociological theories and philosophies concerned with issues of gender difference. It is also a movement that campaigns for women's rights and interests. Nancy Cott defines feminism as the belief in the importance of gender equality, invalidating the idea of gender hierarchy as a socially constructed concept. Feminists are persons of either sex, or females only (in which case males may be profeminists), who believe in feminism.”

…on the way back from Mohali I was engaged with some self-debate while seeing two ladies sitting with me in the same compartment of the train. Both them are quite tired trying to control their small kids. I can see the anger, love, care, possessiveness and the irritation on their face. The kids keep running out of the compartment and the poor mothers would also run after them to catch them. The ladies also got uncomfortable with other passengers expression getting irritated with babies shouting and jumping here and there. their kids are disturbing rest of the passengers sleep.

I was also no less their kid's victim for a while but finally they have played with me after I gave all the eatables to them. One jump into my lap to grasp the juice and other dragging from him and in the process my shirt got stained and I had to change. I feel bad thier mom saying sorry again and again to me. Well I seem to have lots of patience these days….I was rather so happy playing with them instead of just sleeping in the train though I was drop death tired trying to catch the big fish in the RD center of the company by signing them with the confidential documents.
So now coming back to feminism, as the meaning talks about women liberalism, freedom to live, think, eat and whatever….!!

But seeing the two mothers I question myself does these two women ever remember the definition and used of the above words in their life? Hope my question is quite valid to them also, not an offensive one and contradicting to her motherhood!! The question of living life with liberty, freedom comes when you have time to live a life of your own. No one can question a woman about her desire to become a mother and her love for her kids. She forgets to live her life once she has a baby, that’s exactly you can see. She leaves job, forgets her own parents, sacrifice the night talks with her best pals and even herself. She sacrifices everything including her dream, aim, opportunities and lives for her children only. In short that becomes her new life encompassing everything.

When the rest of the male passengers are sleeping and playing with their new age gadgets these two ladies are still going mad taking care of the kids with an face seeking apology from the rest. Meanwhile playing with these kids I felt may be they also sometime wish to travel without any tensions and so much of worries around like any other male passengers. But mothers are bound too; they won’t leave a home carefree attitude that kids will be taken care of by their dad like a man thought off. I hope it is not only about the love of being a parent but also an inherent sole responsibility of being a care taker which most of the man are devoid of; may be because of the society set or may be a human tendency of living life easily passing off the bucks to the partners head. No offence, this is not a question to the fatherhood of man and not meant to say that they love their kids less than a mother do…here comes the contradicting existence of a feminism and motherhood within a woman. If another definition applies another will go in the opposite direction. No matter, I don’t wish to interpret that feminist doesn’t want to have children and hates motherhood. Any woman despite of her social stand and takes and gives loves the God gifted motherhood, except that slowly while she is donned with an exciting status of being a mother in the society, she simply seems to loss her much needed right to live with her life as an individual with full of her dreams of own, as she is born being as an inherent sole care taker in parenting the kids. If she lives and continue the same what would be talked about her? Every person had his/her own interpretation of her.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


the night passes
reopening  the cemented wound
hidden so far
in an earthen space
like a centaury old tomb

when the heart wanted
humming to a forgotten song
this night
Clad with its melancholy
break its rhythm

How I wish to conceal
Her beauty, power and wisdom tonight
so far
she only hurt me
she only tore me into pieces
like an unused clothes

You see how insensible
The trees, the stones and the flowers are
lying unasnwered to me

how insensible the winds,
the moon and the stars tonight
they could never let you go
Though you silently left me long ago

As this moment passes
I’m painted with hue of colour
Red, green, yellow and black

And I’m invisible
Wrap and clad with senses
Of joy and lost……

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Beyond now!!

Weather is extremely beautiful today. It's pleasant and making me so fresh though I'm already so tired because of the hectic schedule. I thought of talking to you tonite as it has been a long time we have not have a good discussion as usual. Though you seem to be too excited with everything happening around you ......but silently I feel that I'm losing you again.

I don't know why I treat myself as a stranger today so I call another fren to say what I felt now but she too fell asleep as the night is already fall and slept.

Well, I'm beyond my reach now. I don't want to think anything but just I'm enjoy this passing moments though it would be good if you are around ....I will just wait and face whatever comes in my way..hope just kill me sometime. But don't feel bad for these beautiful hopes just built up on you for some days..but feel bad that you will never know about it ...and i no longer share with you I said I'm beyond my reach now...neither you can reach me too...because you had never tried to walked upon in this path and never I let you show the path..leading towards me!!!

 Anyway I don't wish to waste this beautiful night because of anything. Seems you are also not so worthy to waste this moment with the agony of getting far away from me. Wanna spend this beauiful time with some good music and good thoughts. Tomorrow is still an uncertain dream for me so I dont want to waste it with the thought of you being away from me....

I'm already too tired and already had a hectic I wanna catch with a good dream..

Saturday, July 24, 2010


Life doesn’t end in a moment
Nothingness lies encompassing the surprises
Embrace the passing moments
Cuddle with the moments we had shared
We ain't sure of another tomorrow
Let our heart enjoy in the pain & sorrow
Though lets not paint life
with its colour of sadness
You have to make a choice
Either you live your life
or life force you to live
Nothingness is where the life is
we are no longer stranger to it
Live with it
and cuddle with it
in this short journey!!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Beutiful hours!!!

The only time where I can be only with myself is the night time. Whole day I keep running and I even forgot my own existence. But at the end of the day when the world falls asleep and when the night is already tired of its loneliness I remember myself and my own existence. That's the reason I always keep awake and be there to be with myself. The hope, dream, desire to live a life with full of freedom wake up suddenly when I'm with this lonely night. How special the nights I have so far spent in my life.....???

The day is not mine and I work for others but so far no one can still my precious moments and someone has missed something in their life if they miss to see the beauty of the dark, lonely nights which only awaits to meet a new day who is not so welcoming to her.

Everyday in the office I thought of writting this and that in my blog which is alternative diary for me. But could never do that. I just love writting diary since my school days. No one has ever teach me the how beautiful the nights are and its unseen dreams. But whatever I'm today its because of the beautiful nights which I spent with dreams full of star and hope.

What enejoy most in my life is that I'm blessed to witness every stages of the life ranging from the society where the civilsation falls no shadow to a place where civilisation cemented the human feelings and pains. Rememnber those days where I used to sit in the back of the cycle with my father and used to go the most beautiful lake Loktak Lake. Where me and my brother would go for boating and keep talking about the search of diamonds underneath the water. Every sparkling things were diamond for my cousin brother and he was so happy seeing them and use to lift them with a stick. How innocent life I used to live in those days. But I become far from myself since then I'm here and I started pursuing my dream in a land where you dream without hope.

What is the meaning of life when its purpose is just the substitute of toll tax payable with your hard earned life? Life is exciting when you take so many responsibilities and when you dream for a starry dream with your eyes wide open watching and counting the stars which could never in your life. Sometime Life is like aiming to meet this stars shinning to far which you could never meet in life. Dreams and hope only land you somewhere but You never met with the dream you actually see. I could never find an appropiate price I could afford to pay for living so far from my parents who has become so older day by day. Sometime I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night scarring with the thought that I'm staying 10 years away from my parents. How unfortunate I'm to miss every growing age of them and how could I miss something for so long which I could never see again.

Just waiting eagerly for October to come. I wanted mom and dad to be here with me at least for a month. For so long I'm missing their love and care. Life become really deserted when I could give no time to them. I wanted to live life again with all those nostalgic feelings in home.

Am I just dreaming of another hopeless dream?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Some lesson!!!

Has been some days I stop writing in my blog. Quite busy and tired but I'm enjoying every bit of moments passing in my life. Both my brother's admission is done and they have started going to school. Especially I'm happy for the elder one, who has been sitting for so long in home waiting for his admission to be completed. I'm so thankful to my college friends who are so helpful to me.

I think i have lived the longest part of my life in this year. There won't be any free seconds which I have not used in this year. There are many dreams which I want to live though its too difficult to keep them upto the expectation....I have never wanted to compromise my life with just a corporate job and wasting those money in the shopping in the market to buy some fancy clothes. What life would be if Im only left with one job in hand and nothing to do?

I hate sitting idle and empty minded..that's one reason of people making crazy with other's life. I lived different life in a day. I don't have a boring and frustated corporate worker whole day and throw my tantrums when I'm back at home. My day starts at 6:30 am in the morning. Sometime my youngest brother would knock at the door as it is the time for me to prepare their breakfast and lunch before I leave for office. Once I'm done with the morning household work I had to rush for office cab where I met my colleague whom i shared all the woes and pain we faced in the office. But I always maintain a pin drop silence in the work place because once you open your mouth you are in trouble in a corporate environment. That's what I learnt and you can never be so friendly and also work smoothly in my office. Not so good politics and some demotvating environmnet. But for me it is not a big problem as know I'm good these days with the art of ignorence.

One thing I would realy miss is my evening LLB class in Law Faculty. My classmates are very supportive and here I get the most energetic guys who are ready to faced everything in life. Most of us are office goers but we all are very active group fortunately except some uncles who came to ease out their frustation in class. I'm so happy all my friends passed the exams with good marks despite of all the challenges. Yeah, my LLB  3rd semister is going to start from tomorrow and we are going to treat each other with the suger flavor tea in the canteen.

The most important thing I have learnt from my Dad and all the hard time I had gone through this time is that everything is manageabel in life if you wish to do something in life from your heart. My father did not own a high degree certificate but he is most educated person I met in my life. No one has ever teached me so much about life like my mom and dad ever teach me though I live so far from them. From last year I have been too occupied with so many things but I always tried at my best level to cope up with everything. I took over the responsibility to look after two kid brothers while I was already so burdened with my office and study. But everything is just going on and on and things are happening in the right direction. So I'm simply happy.

Hmm, for writing I'm not able to write much in my blog but I keep writing in my mail or paper whenever I get little time. Writing is one of the best way to ease out stress for me. Oh! I seem to miss something. Yeah, the role I used to play for the social issues. Now I seem to give up while so many Page 3 activist coming up and I'm quite tired and shattered seeing all of them lined up on every social networking site.Well these days I no longer feel angry and don't want to have any argument.

Lately, though its really good for myself , that I never feel like arguing or replying to anyone. Yeah I realised that there can be no argument between sense and nonsense. Argument can be between only sense and sense that has been lost from the people I lived around. So better I shut my eyes and dream. Thats what I do these days.

Regarding my career too things are changing and now i'm in the track which I always wish to pursue. I have only few things to complete. So I'm planning for a visit to Bombay in first week of next month and have some good time with my friends/colleagues and with my bro.

The night is too late but I just don't want waste this beautiful night by just sleeping and dreaming so leaving this notes as a gift to this beautiful day which gave me so much in my life. There is nothing I have not got from this 24 hour duration. So much of love & care from my brothers, my parents, colleagues, friends and myself. Now I have to go to sleep for another 6 hours to gather some energy so that I can face the new challenges of a new day which is eagerly waiting to meet me soon.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Let's rock the faith
Let's break the chain of sadness
Let's unwind the failing time
Let's walk through the turbulent wave

Time is less
Time is less
Time is less

My dear
Lets make love again with our life
before it engulfs by hatred
As you know

the faith can no longer be trusted
the god can no longer be blamed
The love can no longer be virgin

But let's not break our heart
The day is just passing off
leaving behind us with only questions
Lets wake up and shout soon
Lets open our heart and feel
the lost scent of the soil

Isn't it the time
Isn't it that hour of need
bridging between you and me

Time is less
Time is less
Time is less

Lets make love again with our life
before it engulfs by hatred

* just encouraging myself to overcome the hatred born inside because of all the cercumstances surrounding us.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Fruits of your taste!!!

Some has more curves
Some looks fair and attractive
Some own hips like the Brazilians
Yeah welcome to the market of fruits
You have the choice to hold and weight
You can just lift and taste its juices
How far the fruits can cry of your misdeeds
Welcome to the market of fruits
Some are like your favorite apple
Some looks like your juicy orange
You have the option in front of you
It’s like the market of fruit
Apple, orange, grapes,
Choose the one of your own
Till the time market is shut for you
She has a better curve
She own a reddish cheek like that of apple
Doesn’t she taste juicy like those of orange?
Oh! That’s your saddest moment
Though she doesn’t own hips like the Brazilian!!!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Rain & Me!!

Tomorrow may not be ours
Yesterday was for them
You own none
I own none

We belong to this moment
Lets not miss it
Lets not waste it
Lets enjoy
with the every falling drops of rain...

Like the rain annoyed with the desert
You may not annoy with me
Like the moon dump the nongoubi bird
You can't just walk away
Depriving me of your smile

Don't I owe the love in your heart
Don't I deserve for your first kiss
Don't I feel the first touch from your eyes
Don't I get hurt if you dump me so tonight?

Come again
Hold me tightly towards you
To heal the pain within me

We would just walk and search
in a darkest rain forest
For a virgin love
which we can own together.

*nongoubi bird- an imaginary bird which awaits whole life for the moon to come out & shine in the sky. Believe to be most poetic bird which every poet of Manipur origin used to express their anxious feelings of long wait for someone they love...

Monday, July 5, 2010

Rain comes down!!

Rain comes down a decade ago
Rain comes down a year ago
Rain comes down in a gone sad day too
Though it tried only to wash way his memory
Left me alone with his sin of love
Though I compliant not
For his silent departure from an unworthy dream
Though I do not question him tonite
I just smile
Teasing, his eroding footsteps in the sand
While the rare raindrops of July moist my lips today
Suddenly I felt your existence around me
Oh! Isn’t the beginning of a new dream?

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Rain talks!!

Delhi is showering with rain and pleasant breeze since yesterday. Yeah I am no more blaming the Delhi weather now. In fact I'm falling in love with this weather. I keep sitting til late night and keep walking in my balcony facing to the park till I felt that I'm drop death tired.

I dont know about tomorrow and I dont want to think also. I'm enjoying this moment all alone and its my patented time, no can claim. Tomorrow may be hell or heaven, that's not in my hand. But now I felt that I'm in heaven with this pleasant breeze refreshing my mind but not the wound which he has caused to me. Let this rare raindrops of July wash your memory forever and heal the wound inside me. Though I no longer remember you, sometime back in my mind, I try to come back to those path which I walked upon with you. But its no worth now. I have moved on, thats what I'm sure of and I'm happy unlike before.

  Hope, as my friend said let it be the rain which came to wash your past or someone else so that you wake up tomorrow morning with a beautiful day. For so long I have tried to be live alone and isolated from everyone. Of course, I'm not in depression but I want to know myself more and wanna asked and asnwer what I want at this crucial moment in my life. Many things are lying ahead of me now. Regarding my family responsibility, career and an undecided relation. I rather seek a friend who can be my best companion for lifetime rather than romancing a stranger all over again. Yet I'm so confused from last few months. Seems this time too it will be left undecided only. But that will also be good for me. I will be lost again in myself.

But I tried not to take tension but change the way I look into a situation in everything I face in life. Regarding family, everything is in terms of what i want. But except that my neighbors insanity troubles my parents everyday and left them in tears sometime. And me waking up whole night thinking on what could be done with them? But I can not find a medicine for those people who are born as unchangeable bastard. But I just have to take precaution and have to change my parents thinking so that they are no longer affected  with their tantrums.

Well, its already too late. Only 7 hours left for me to get ready for office. I hate to waste such beautiful time by just sleeping and dreaming something not realistic. This time is more beautiful than any other dream.