Saturday, February 20, 2010

Between two flags!!

One, three headed
One, a charming chakra
Scramble for me
I, bewildered
I, baffled
Beloved, both
Belonged to both
One, borne
One, nurtured
Frequent, my minds' eye
the flag embellished
with sakok
My thought feebled
at the flags' awaiting
Frequent, my thoughts
the flag embellished
with chakra
My thought feebled
at the flag
I didn't belong to
Mislayed at the warfield
between two flags
I asked all
Who do I belong to
Frequent, my thought
Can I belong to both?
One, borne
One, nurtured
I feared
life's lofty forts
I feared
I couldn't traverse
these chained heights
I feared
the sakok embellished flag
chasing me
with a sword
stating a stranger, I am
Between two flags
Scrambling for me
She is mine
She is mine
they said
Sliced me
Some pieces for one
Some pieces for another
Why the scramble?
Who do I belonged to?
Pacified myself
I, adrift
between two flags
between these two flags


Friday, February 19, 2010

The Miserable Lovers!!

“Restaurants come into public scrutiny once again”. 

Is it the banning of the restaurants and stopping them to use mobile phones only a solution to clean the society?
Or to make our Manipuri society free from illicit behaviors?

The problem with our society is that we don’t want to give freedom to others and we don’t respect other’s freedom. What make us think that somebody is against the society if he/she found kissing or hugging his/her lover somewhere in the corner of the road? In fact the man-made scrutiny system of our culture is extended even within the bedroom of the married couple.

How come the chain of the dark cabin restaurants builds up in a society which is so suffocating and closes from all the sides to even to breathe the free oxygen? Why did the couples and lovers have to find those dark cabin rooms to meet each other? What are the factors which insist/force them to hide from the public? They are the miserable lovers whose opportunity to express love for each other is only in the dark cabin of the room or only in the corner of the close room beneath the posters of the arousal photographs. It has become a customary law for our society where we only terminate the consequential products and byproducts of a problem but not the root of the cause of such problems.

There are many other ways and means to stop the teenagers to stop committing the wrongful acts such as child marriage, early pregnancy and early elopement. Manipur is listed in no. 1 for child marriage and sexual abuse. But why such problems occurred in such a closed society? If we really wish to eradicate such problems then we need to educate them so that they can realize of their wrongful acts and rectify them.

Let it be drug abuse or the sexual abuse in the name of dating, which is very much common in our society now. Who can stop such kids from committing whatever they want to do? Isn’t it the fault of the society which prevent them freedom to roam around in the open public and letting them to live their life freely?

What else we can achieve after closing such restaurants? Are we going to give them the freedom to dating in the public space as all normal human society does? Why have we started thinking that dating as an illicit behavior in our society? I don’t think we would be born here and human race would have ended century back if our forefathers haven’t dated and married to each other. Giving freedom to the youngsters to live their own life and lean is not about following the western culture and just abandoning our culture. It is more about preserving the human norms of relations and emotions. If we started treating that the romantic relations between a girl and boy is illicit then the culture of marriage is a crime. Henceforth humane race should have ended years ago.
Let’s take an example of drug/alcohol abuse. We can see that Manipuri society especially our meitie society is famous for husbands abusing his wife after consuming alcohol. Is it really because of alcohol? Let’s find out now what kind of chemical entity is there which instigates a man to beat his wife? As far as scientific discovery is concerned no chemical entity is there which can boost a man’s capability to overpower physically his wife after drinking. Problem is with the psychology of the human and not with the alcohol. Why have we launched so much of restriction against ourselves from eating, drinking and living freely? Have we ever heard of any country where alcohol is not available and there happens no drug abuse? But the question is that why we are on top regarding such problems? The only answer is the close and suffocating society where people drink, eat and make love out of suffocation, frustration, insult, humiliation and fear of the society, which are out of norm and race due to the unbearable restriction around us.

It’s a high time we recheck, revisit and rectify the system of resistance against any kind of abuse by some fraction of the culture preservers which can only create tension in the society. Unfortunately we live in a society where people are ready to humiliate you and ostracize from the public all the time. Instead of referring a drug addict in rehabilitation center he would be ostracized in front of all and send them to police custody. In the police custody again they have to face the human abuse and insults. How could a person who has lost control over his own brain rectify without proper guiding? So far how many of them we have saved from drug abuse or any kind of wrongful activity by insulting, humiliating and abusing? We found them more vulnerable to the drugs and any other means to escape self from such abuse by the society.

My own locality is filled with drug addicts and at least once in a month there is drama of humiliation of drug addicts in the school playground. But till now I have never found that they have stopped taking drugs? Had we sent them in a rehabilitation center instead of humiliating them in the public, they could have stopped taking drugs because of our sympathy and humanity but they can never be better because of humiliation, insult and abuse.

Sometime I really feel jealous of the time where our grandparents narrate about the likon-sanaba in the full moon night and how their lovers come to meet in their house. Every home was facilitated with Ningol-ka (the room for unmarried ladies) in a home where the unmarried ladies can meet their lovers in their house in the presence of their family members. If this is the situation & culture in the present Manipur, I hope there won’t be any such relations so called as illicit relations and behaviors. Of course, no kid would ever dare to keep the photographs which can aroused their in their wall.

I wish we return to that age where our forefathers lived freely. For a change and oxygenated culture and tradition. Also, it is better to maintain those systems in our society which we have overlooked long time (for the sake of what?), for a better society free from organizations and their unfaithful agendas.

We are too fed of home made Sive-Sena Groups or culture preservers. We need life free from culture & traditions which is against our survival.

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Could not able to write anything on my blog from last few weeks. All the sites are blocked in my office. This is the only place I could update something in my blog. Thought of getting internet connection at home then I realise where is time to use internet at home. Most of the time I return my room with half-slept body around 10pm after the class. Sometime I don't realised my eating my food with my eyes opened or not.

Well, I have to look for a way to write in my blog. My blog is my own reflection and a way to know myself as the day passes. Life is too busy and road is too crowded, even the phone lines are too busy these days so where is the tiem to talk to others and listen so that I can learn something. That's the basic idea of me blogging and why I love blogging. I want to share with myself what I want from this life.

It seems life these days I seeking for my own revolution and evolution from the one I was before. Quite tired and ashamed of saying my friends hey, I was really busy!!! Actually I hate using this phrase but the fact is that I'm busy only. My parents told me called me anytime. We always sleep at late hours these days. Sometime they would call in my class timing and I would cut their call. I know how much I felt bad so they started taking my appointment to call!!!

Anyway, this is how life goes. I can't stop it. But I just love keep walking and working in this life without looking back and holding back to anything. Hope it does work in such a way!!

Busy life is great!! What else I can say???

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Life runs after meh!!

….Life rides like a bus in the national highway 39 & 53 sometime…losing balance in a well tormented road and unwanted and unnoticed of my own life sometime!! Life is always at high risk!!

I have stop living life from few years but life itself trying hard to get a space to me. I feel sorry that I could not give a proper place to this life following me here and there…Sometime “Aal is not welll”., its more like Aal is wrong. Suffered enough from anxiety, distress because of pms and I’m also trying hard to mend my idiot heart which wastes so much of time of my busy schedule. I thought the last Saturday would be my last day on this beautiful earth. While I’m struggling hard to balance my multi-tasking role in life, anxiety and distress sometime almost killed me. Tension of office, tension of class, then family and many others. Sometime I asked God, I hope you are having fun watching me? I’m not tired man, continue your job. He seems to be having fun watching me standing numb in a luxurious temple. I wish he could at least give me some other option to exit from all this and let me live my life. Heard enough comments from my close friend and well wishers about my short & volatile temper and asked me to mend it down but how?? Still a big question for me as I have no time for being so nice and caring for all the people come across in my way. I also want to have patience to listening someone and some issues only if God permits me with some more time and grant me some other ways. As anxiety take toll over me I have started remembering all those stupid things I did and of course it also flashed back the stories which are gone with the wind from my life. Could not help much this time as I’m already too full with so many things in my head and heart. It has reached to a time to wipe them out from my mind.

Going to my law class at least feel me that I'm surviving and that's where I open my eyes when the world is almost too dark...!!

Finally my exam result came out and out of expectation my score was much better than I expected. I thank to some of my friends who took care of me day and night during my exam time when some of the lively monsters had almost eaten my head even after knowing about my exam. Its only this time I realised how monstrous people can be while its their insecurity made them to do so.

Suffering from bad cold and fever from few days but had to go for class as I missed all the classes in Jan. Happiness is the best medicine in life...I finally realised yesterday. Was just cooking in the kitchen after eating antibiotics and huge dose of corex my friend just called me up and told me about my result. I felt like I was not ill at all...

Another miracle of arrived on my way yesterday!!

That's the Ukabi atouba and Tharoi angouba my mother sent for me from home through a friend. I was so excited as my mother didn't tell me about these stuffs sending me.It seems like my mother listen to my prayers and worries of living in this big city. The smell of Ukabi and taste of tharoi brings back the lost scent of my home and my motherland. My mother saved me from being insane in this city filled with madness. Missing home and I'm enjoying this feeling of missing my mother every single moments of my life!!!